Ramblings of an Insomniac

Disclaimer:  I only had 3 hrs of sleep last night so most of this may not make sense to you.

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I browsed the 2old2play forums for about an hour before I went to bed.  I was reading the blogs, and posting.  I woke up at 12:30am and all I could think about was the 2old2play website and the clan forums. After I laid there for about an hour I finally got out of bed and started playing Billiards on BigOne’s 360.  I even started COD2 and was about to be court marshaled for not following orders.  I couldn’t believe I was getting yelled at in a video game. 

While reading the blogs most of you see them as a way to express yourself and get things off your chest.  Well I need to express myself and get this off my chest. 

Ever since I returned from the Chicago LAN I have not been myself.  I saw how much fun everyone was having and thought I bonded with a few of you so, I decided I wanted to join in the fun.  But I am not having fun. I am making myself miserable. 

On the way to work today I was listening to a comedy channel (Sirius Satellite Radio).  A comedian Brian Regan was making fun of the childhood game Musical Chairs.  The first time you play you don’t know the rules you count the chairs and hey there are not enough chairs how is this suppose to be fun when only one person can be the winner.  (This was very funny. It doesn’t come across that way when you type it).

A few times last week I thought about getting rid of my 360 and forgetting about the whole thing.  I was upsetting myself by comparing blogs, number of comments, who had the best avatar.  Then there’s Xbox Live. The whole point of Xbox live is the live part.  I started getting paranoid if I didn’t get invited to a game or if I did, would I be good enough to play with people without feeling like I was bringing down the room.

A light bulb went off over my head this morning especially after I heard the comedian.  I realized I hated that game (Musical Chairs) because there could be only one winner and if I can’t win I don’t want to play.  I’m very good at trivia games (I have a lot of useless information in my head just begging to come out), so I always enjoyed that type of game.  I knew that I would at least have a decent shot at winning those.   I am/was taking this way to serious.  This is gaming and the main word is GAME.  I felt like I had to be as good as the seasoned gamers in order to play with them.    

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.  Hi my name is Librarian 0ne and I’m a sore loser.  The first thing I’m going to do I accept some of the ladies invites and start enjoying myself.  The second thing is to quit reading the blogs and posts before I go to bed.  Just kidding.