Lunatik-ZX
Shared on Thu, 11/02/2006 - 23:39This Blog is not for the sensible hearths ... i get graphic about suffering and pain ( the part are in italic)
I the last Year i saw my grandmother and my grandfather die... Even if you think it cannot happen you end up feeling something.
Now it's my Girlfriends mother...
She had cancer for a lot of time and now she's slowly and irrevesably moving toward the final stages of her life.
And tho i know her for 5 years now, and she has been hard on me ( she tried to control the uncontrolable LAWL)
i cant look at her when she suffers.
Imagine the suffering, your liver is so filled with tumors that it is expanding and crunching slowly all you organs, the pain, she said to me, is like a flaming needle entering your body and expanding to the size of a log....
Then i ask myself , why all the question, why all the false pain made up by nothing but egocentrism, im not lookin at her because im shy to complain for the little things that are makin my life harder ... DAMN IM ALIVE AND I WONT DIE TOMMOROW... ( i hope so) i remembered complaining about a papercut the other day, what am i complainin about? TELL ME
I really felt like a dork when i wouldnt look at her and look at the books in the library without hiding myself in shame or so. And in a way i turn my head because i fear pain, and i so want to help and feel so useless that i feel her pain in a way.
Tho i think she doesnt trust me, she always tought i was a llazy slacker i did a year depression, i only want to share her pain if it can help her fell better, if i could help her carry her burde to her last sleep. But i cant i can only try to help as i can ... Meditatin, reading to understand about the sickness and meditatin vizualizin her happy and healthy even if she undoubtedly will die. I work my way in silence and in not beign there, onlybeign there when people needs me .
Suffering , and pain just try to figure out ( for those who didnt already did) how some little bread crumbs are beign build as mountains in our life ... lets put things back in perspective...
Hey dont worry were all in this together some day or another
Luna
And now ...
NO MORE CULTURAL MINUTES for now
I the last Year i saw my grandmother and my grandfather die... Even if you think it cannot happen you end up feeling something.
Now it's my Girlfriends mother...
She had cancer for a lot of time and now she's slowly and irrevesably moving toward the final stages of her life.
And tho i know her for 5 years now, and she has been hard on me ( she tried to control the uncontrolable LAWL)
i cant look at her when she suffers.
Imagine the suffering, your liver is so filled with tumors that it is expanding and crunching slowly all you organs, the pain, she said to me, is like a flaming needle entering your body and expanding to the size of a log....
Then i ask myself , why all the question, why all the false pain made up by nothing but egocentrism, im not lookin at her because im shy to complain for the little things that are makin my life harder ... DAMN IM ALIVE AND I WONT DIE TOMMOROW... ( i hope so) i remembered complaining about a papercut the other day, what am i complainin about? TELL ME
I really felt like a dork when i wouldnt look at her and look at the books in the library without hiding myself in shame or so. And in a way i turn my head because i fear pain, and i so want to help and feel so useless that i feel her pain in a way.
Tho i think she doesnt trust me, she always tought i was a llazy slacker i did a year depression, i only want to share her pain if it can help her fell better, if i could help her carry her burde to her last sleep. But i cant i can only try to help as i can ... Meditatin, reading to understand about the sickness and meditatin vizualizin her happy and healthy even if she undoubtedly will die. I work my way in silence and in not beign there, onlybeign there when people needs me .
Suffering , and pain just try to figure out ( for those who didnt already did) how some little bread crumbs are beign build as mountains in our life ... lets put things back in perspective...
Hey dont worry were all in this together some day or another
Luna
And now ...
NO MORE CULTURAL MINUTES for now
- Lunatik-ZX's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments