Angiograms and the Subconscious

So, a couple days ago my dad has a routine cardiac study - this is an annual test to check his heart. No big deal - he's getting older and he wants to be safe. This time, however, the test results suggest possible restricted blood flow through his coronary arteries and he's promptly scheduled for an angiogram. If you're not familiar with an angiogram, let me explain... The docs poke a hole in your groin and shove a line into your circulatory system, all the way up to your heart. Through this line they inject a contrasting dye, and watch its behavior inside your blood vessels with radiological imaging.

It's worth noting that my father is a retired vascular surgeon. My mom is a retired physician too. And I am an executive with the health system that they used to practice at. We are all knowledgeable about these procedures and their risk. Statistically speaking, my dad was going to be just fine. The routine study that led to the angiogram is known for false results, and thousands of cardiac catheterization procedures are done in our hospitals annually without complication. The likely results would be that there was no blockage, and my dad could return to life-as-usual within a couple hours. Because my dad's procedure was done literally just down the hall from my offices, I was able to mix a little work with attention to my family. And I felt no stress leading to and during my dad's procedure.

When I learned that my dad was nearly done, I went to the waiting room and sat at my mother's side. Moments later the cardiac surgeon came and waved us into the recovery room. We quickly followed. Immediately he turned to us, and with a big smile, said that everything went great and there's nothing wrong with my father.

Here's where my subconcious kicked in... Immediately and surprisingly, my eyes started squirting tears and I reflexively sobbed a few times. WTF!? Where did that come from? All this right in front of a bunch of staff and co-workers, some of whom are subordinate in my chain of command. Right up until and during my dad's procedure, I never felt any stress or fear. But as soon as I learned that my dad was going to be fine, the burst of relief overwhelmed my emotions and I was crying like a child and hugging my mommy in the recovery room.

At that moment, I had a real appreciation of the subconscious and it's ability to hide and attack when you don't expect it.

Tonight, I'm just thrilled that Dad is OK.

Sugar