HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

Happy St Patty's Day everyone! You may be shocked to know that old Aachmed is not Arabian, or Middle Eastern at all. I am instead a mixture of the following weird recipe:

• One pinch of Dutch (a grandparent must have slept with a milkman somewhere down the line)
• One Dash of English (I'm sure the bastard lied and said he was from Dublin)
• Two table spoons of Welsh (hmmm, apparently some of my ancestors must have been sheep... think about it)
• One cup of Irish (care of Rohypnol by way of Guinness no doubt)

             Mix together with plenty of pork and stout and you get the likes of me!

So old Aachy is a dirty rotten smelly drunk Irishman, but hey, I try to look on the bright side. I'll never need to call the Hair Club For Men. My family is so Irish, that both my grandparents on my mothers side were named Bailey... before they got married . Made the divorce easier! (divorced over drinking and gambling... naturally) My family is so Irish, that my parents made St Patricks Day they're wedding day. That's right, St Patty;s day is a very special day indeed. My parents got married late in life. They were both in their 30's. Still, they have stayed together and tomorrow marks their 46th anniversary! That makes them old, lol. So, tomorrow I'm heading to Orlando to celebrate the way good Irish southerners know how. Plenty of pork and beer. I have a cooler full of Harp. Smithwicks and Guinness along with tons of sausages and other various meats to put on the smoker/grill. It's going to be a lovely day and I'm really looking forward to it. I hope all of you also have a splendid and safe holiday.

-Jim