The Daily Roundup
Suspect: I shot wife's teen lover by accident
Sure you did. Let me guess, you were trying to shoot an apple off his head?
Judge strikes down Internet porn law
Thus ensuring that learning to use a mouse with your left hand will still be a rite of passage for male adolescents for years to come.
Real-time data could help car wreck victims
Personally, if I’m ever in a wreck I prefer to have “real-time” medical assistance. One would think that clarification wouldn’t have been necessary.
Stop surfing, make friends, students told
And cut your hair and pull your damn pants up!
Leaky roofs, bats among VA health facility problems
They must be able to throw really creepy Halloween parties.
Timberlake too 'Sexy' for Tennessee?
Too sexy? No. Too banal? Probably.
Police await cricket coach autopsy
Is it a coincidence that the autopsy is taking forever, is totally boring, or that it’s being carried out by guys dressed totally in white?
U.S.: Russia won't hand nuclear fuel to Iran
Duh. Much more efficient for Russians to deliver it in trucks.
Teen confesses to stealing 170 Hondas
170 Hondas? For real? Ummmm….damn, I got nothing.
Space tourist's meal plan: Roast quail
Kwazy’s suggested menu at homeless shelter: Roast Space Tourist.
State can't afford to try courthouse shooting suspect
I’m starting to think I’ve got better monetary policy than Georgia…and I just plopped down $25 to reserve the $130 Legendary edition of Halo 3. Scary!
Cosmetic surgery rates up; breasts most popular
329,000 boob-jobs last year. That’s 658,000 disfigured titties. I’m calling it genocide. Notify the UN.
Soft drinks associated with diabetes, report finds
Was this a 4th grade science fair project? What were the scientists in the next lab over working on, a baking soda volcano?