NotStyro
Shared on Sun, 04/01/2007 - 10:20...and occasional friends.
Our story begins with Scary Lad, and his almost-trusted sidekick Cassie, undertaking the most fiendishly banal and irksome of tasks – the sorting of laundry returned from cleaners.
“I've got a sock...” says Cassie.
“Good, put it with the rest in the pile.” replies Scary Lad.
“but where is the mate?”
“Probably in the sock pile, Cassie. Remember, we first sort the the clothes by type, then we match-up the pairs and deal with folding & hanging.”
“So, when do we iron?
“We don't, Cassie. Modern fabrics, like modern men, don't iron.”
“Um, where is the pile for bras?”
“Bras go over....GIVE ME THAT!!!” says Scary Lad grabbing the garment from Cassie.
“Hey! I was looking at that! What is that made from?”
“Hmm, I would have to say a Kevlar & Lycra hybrid blend with some silk sown into the inside cups...”
“Silk isn't a tactical or armor fabric.”
“Yes, but it feels good against sensitive flesh and prevents chafing.”
“So, I guess you'll put it back in your secrets drawer, Scary Lad?”, asks Cassie barely suppressing a grin.
“NO! This one isn't mine! I mean, I don't wear this type! Damn it! I don't wear bras!”, snarls Scary Lad, again regretting hiring Cassie from that cut-rate sidekick agency.
“So, who does it belong to...”
“Well, judging by this black & while emblem that appears to be litigiously close to the FireFox browser logo, I would say it belongs to Scary Fox.”
“Eww, what are those spots?”
“Eh? Well, these look like Chocolate, but I don't know about the others...”
“Well, maybe you could put it through that multi-million dollar broad-spectrum, um, substance analyzer you bought years ago and has just been sitting around beeping, gathering dust and helping put the kids of the power company's CEO through college?” asks Cassie in one of the most absurdly round-about manners possible.
“Fine. Lets do this... Um, how does it work, again?”
[ten hours later]
“Finally! Ok, Cassie, start the analysis!” yells Scary lad over the otherwise eerie silence.
“Here it goes!” says Cassie as the big red button labeled “GO!” is pushed.
[another ten hours later]
“-bing-” goes the multi-million dollar broad-spectrum substance analyzer.
“So, what is it Cassie?” asks Scary Lad as he continues to closely examine the silk cup liners.
“Um, tofu...”
“Tofu?!”
“Yeah, tofu. You know, that odd almost-edible food-like substance.”
“Ok...” says Scary Lad wondering how Cassie would know about tofu. It isn't like Cassie is a health-food nut, so that only leaves a few other things...
“Does Scary Fox eat tofu?”
“No, nobody normal actually eats tofu...but there is the Flaming Raven” says Scary Lad.
“I think his name is Flame Raven.”
“Look, Cassie. The dude has a purple cowl and on it the raven is giving a wink and raising its rear plumage. And on top of that, the raven is holding a rainbow flag!” exclaims Scary Lad while also thinking that all that raven needed next was to admit to living in the Castro district of San Francisco...
“You just don't like him because he only wears a kilt under that cowl.”
“No, I like the guy. All-round stand-up superhero. What he wears is his decision. I just think he should tone it down a few notches, lest someone gets the wrong idea...”
“I still think you...” Cassie starts saying...
“I don't want to talk about it. Listen, you fold & I'll hang” says Scary Lad as he heads back to the laundry.
“What about... Hey, where is the bra?”
“Oh, I'm keeping that for some further analysis...” says Scary Lad with wry grin.
Our story begins with Scary Lad, and his almost-trusted sidekick Cassie, undertaking the most fiendishly banal and irksome of tasks – the sorting of laundry returned from cleaners.
“I've got a sock...” says Cassie.
“Good, put it with the rest in the pile.” replies Scary Lad.
“but where is the mate?”
“Probably in the sock pile, Cassie. Remember, we first sort the the clothes by type, then we match-up the pairs and deal with folding & hanging.”
“So, when do we iron?
“We don't, Cassie. Modern fabrics, like modern men, don't iron.”
“Um, where is the pile for bras?”
“Bras go over....GIVE ME THAT!!!” says Scary Lad grabbing the garment from Cassie.
“Hey! I was looking at that! What is that made from?”
“Hmm, I would have to say a Kevlar & Lycra hybrid blend with some silk sown into the inside cups...”
“Silk isn't a tactical or armor fabric.”
“Yes, but it feels good against sensitive flesh and prevents chafing.”
“So, I guess you'll put it back in your secrets drawer, Scary Lad?”, asks Cassie barely suppressing a grin.
“NO! This one isn't mine! I mean, I don't wear this type! Damn it! I don't wear bras!”, snarls Scary Lad, again regretting hiring Cassie from that cut-rate sidekick agency.
“So, who does it belong to...”
“Well, judging by this black & while emblem that appears to be litigiously close to the FireFox browser logo, I would say it belongs to Scary Fox.”
“Eww, what are those spots?”
“Eh? Well, these look like Chocolate, but I don't know about the others...”
“Well, maybe you could put it through that multi-million dollar broad-spectrum, um, substance analyzer you bought years ago and has just been sitting around beeping, gathering dust and helping put the kids of the power company's CEO through college?” asks Cassie in one of the most absurdly round-about manners possible.
“Fine. Lets do this... Um, how does it work, again?”
[ten hours later]
“Finally! Ok, Cassie, start the analysis!” yells Scary lad over the otherwise eerie silence.
“Here it goes!” says Cassie as the big red button labeled “GO!” is pushed.
[another ten hours later]
“-bing-” goes the multi-million dollar broad-spectrum substance analyzer.
“So, what is it Cassie?” asks Scary Lad as he continues to closely examine the silk cup liners.
“Um, tofu...”
“Tofu?!”
“Yeah, tofu. You know, that odd almost-edible food-like substance.”
“Ok...” says Scary Lad wondering how Cassie would know about tofu. It isn't like Cassie is a health-food nut, so that only leaves a few other things...
“Does Scary Fox eat tofu?”
“No, nobody normal actually eats tofu...but there is the Flaming Raven” says Scary Lad.
“I think his name is Flame Raven.”
“Look, Cassie. The dude has a purple cowl and on it the raven is giving a wink and raising its rear plumage. And on top of that, the raven is holding a rainbow flag!” exclaims Scary Lad while also thinking that all that raven needed next was to admit to living in the Castro district of San Francisco...
“You just don't like him because he only wears a kilt under that cowl.”
“No, I like the guy. All-round stand-up superhero. What he wears is his decision. I just think he should tone it down a few notches, lest someone gets the wrong idea...”
“I still think you...” Cassie starts saying...
“I don't want to talk about it. Listen, you fold & I'll hang” says Scary Lad as he heads back to the laundry.
“What about... Hey, where is the bra?”
“Oh, I'm keeping that for some further analysis...” says Scary Lad with wry grin.
- NotStyro's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 04/02/2007 - 16:43
Submitted by NotStyro on Mon, 04/02/2007 - 17:04
Submitted by Devonsangel on Sun, 04/01/2007 - 13:14
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sun, 04/01/2007 - 13:28
Submitted by NotStyro on Sun, 04/01/2007 - 17:01