A few thoughts

#1  I just knocked my Sammy Adams over on the coffee table while eating dinner and watching the Daily Show on Tivo.  Without really so much as a second thought, I bent over to slurp as much of it up as I could.  I would not have guessed I'd still be doing this at 34 years of age.  I got up to get some paper towels.  When I'd returned, I found the dog had taken my lead and finished slurping it up.  Good Dog.

#2  Any of my buds from the North side of Indy reading this, stop now.  Call Cool River Pizza and get some.  It's run by a couple from California who recently moved to Indiana.  I don't know for sure why...I'm guessing they lost a bet with God.  But the Almighty's gain is also ours as they brought their most excellent pizza restaurants with them.  Bazbeaux's just got dethroned as Indy's best pizza.

#3  Paris Hilton is now in jail.  I'm really hoping she has a mullet sporting cellmate whose favorite color is plaid, favorite food is carpet, and is a sadist.  Oh yeah...and has really chubby fingers.

#4  Heard the Bloodhound Gang song Three Point One Four today while walking the Beast.  These lyrics aren't exact, but they're close.  I love BLG.  Don't read if you don't like songs about vaginas. 

My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be,
Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me,
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright,
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright,
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony,
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company,
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she's a flunky,
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys,
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word,
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd,
I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color,
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother,
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy,
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
Like em' easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat, gee,
You know what I really want in a girl? Me,

I need to find a new vagina,
Any kind of new vagina,
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina,
Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina,

Women are like dog, doo, hear me through don't interrupt,
It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up,
I'd fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters,
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture,
No age just ain't a gauge I like my girls like my cheese,
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only,
I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner,
Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner,
Like Sizzler she got a beef we'll chew the fat,
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap,
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough,
No I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up,
Just independent like NOFX ,smart like Janeane Garafolo,
She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know,
Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System, gee,
You know what I really want in a girl? Me,

I need to find a new vagina,
Any kind of new vagina,
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina,
Kevin Klein? Kind of South Carolina,
Vagina vagina vagina vagina,
Vagina vagina vagina vagina.