Dear Lord, Why Didn't They Elope?

I sit here this afternoon making every effort to do the man's job in preparation for a wedding - Shut up and stay out of the way! It started several weeks ago and has intensified as the days have passed. Yesterday I had 500 pink roses in my kitchen, five insane women, and a fallout between my two step-daughters. It appears one became a bit bossy, and the other one called her a name I don't think I have ever heard come out of her mouth. I walked to the fridge, careful not to look anyone in the eyes, grabbed my Coke Zero from the fridge, and slithered back to the sanctuary of my Tritton headphones. It was my first real exposure to the benefits of not only them not hearing you, but you can't hear them either!

Well, the inlaws have arrived, and the TV has been on the soaps for the last couple of hours. The only sanity I had has been replaced by General Hospital. I wonder if they are accepting new patients. Tomorrow, three women I don't know will be spending the night. I have seen pictures, and I'd rather face Locusts any time.

The rehearsal dinner is tonight, and the wedding is tomorrow. Sunday, the fog lifts, and I can once again run around the house in my underwear. A man has the unalienable right to freedom of exposure in his home. I think that was in the first draft of the Bill of Rights, but not many people are aware of it.

Seriously, I am happy for the couple. She is a great kid (with the exception of calling her sister a b_ _ _ _), and he is a nice guy with his own house and a good career. But the level of hormonal activity has me grasping for what little sanity I have.