gaming at a certain age

I can't believe how hard it is to find people to play online with who want to play by the rules.  I was in a R6V match last weekend and everybody on my team quit except me and the other team was still spawn camping and glitching.  It was 6 on 1 for God's sake.  It worked out allright, I got 2 achievements for it and has as many kills as the best guy on their team, but still, how about a sporting chance?
How unsettling is it to hear a kid who's balls haven't dropped yet spouting curses at you and suggesting you do things that are anatomically impossible?  I usually don't respond, just own their faces the next round and gloat.  Don't think I'm playing the bitter old man card, that's not the case, I just didn't talk like that at that age except to my friends after making sure there weren't any adults around.
The only problem with playing online with your kids is all their friends want to be on your friend list.  That's fine except when they want to chat.  How can I carry on a conversation with a 13 year old?  Can we talk about work?  I'm not going to be a surrogate father.