Old Girlfriends and Suicides

gigatrix

Shared on Thu, 09/20/2007 - 16:08
So I used to frequent internet dating sites quite often and found a girl I really liked. The only problem, and the usual problem with internet dating is distance. Not only was this girl (Lynda) not in my area code, she was in Ontario. I was planning on going to Vietnam for a vacation last year (another story all together) and her and her family were planning a similar trip earlier in the year. What a coincidence she says..

anyways we continue to talk and eventually, out of the blue, she decides to fly down and visit me. We made these plans about a month in advance so I wasn't too concerned until the day she flew in. I went to the airport an hour early and hung out in the terminal. I played it cool until she called and said her plane just landed, then I became an anxious, nervous wreck. I see her come around a corner looking around wide eyed and unsure of where she was while she was talking to her sister on the phone for reassurance as she met some random guy from the internet. She saw me, smiled, and hung up the phone. I was expected an awkward hello, or maybe an informal handshake, but she didn't hesitate to put her arm around my neck and hug me.

We spent that weekend together until that Monday when she had to fly back. I took her early in the morning and she cried, while I tried to man up and hold it in. I still remember leaving the airport and seeing her walk away. I was fighting tears the entire morning at work until I had to teach a class. When I got home from work we talked on the webcam and she cried again, and I told her how much I missed her.

Two months later I went to see her in Canada and met her entire family, her parents, grand parents, sister and brothers. We did mundane things like shopping and riding around.. but this was the first time I had been out of the states and I was happy to do anything with her. We went to Niagra Falls, and to the CN tower among other places. It's strange being in a place that is nearly indistinguishable from the U.S. aside from the European usage of words like "colour" and "flavour" and the little maple flag rippling in the cold April air. When she took me back to the airport I was a little relieved to go home, yet I was going to miss her a lot. It was like when she was going home. When she walked me to the terminal she had this odd sense of "welp, see ya k thx" and walked off as I went into the baggage claim. Like "done with this guy, got things to do, people to see".. I was a little hurt but sometimes she was hard to read. I also didn't expect her to be all teary eyed every time we parted ways, but it seemed a little curt. When I got back home she was always too busy to talk for very long, or became defensive.


Things went downhill from there. We had made plans for her to come back here in May for our music fest (anyone who lives in Memphis or the area know how much of a deal that is). Well she talked her way out of that, and was vague about making plans to come see me anytime soon. I even offered to pay for her ticket and it was a no go. She eventually just threw out too many signals that she wasn't interested anymore and I called it quits. I texted her like I always do in the mornings and told her I needed to call her. She insisted I got online instead and I told her there (so anyone who thinks I was going to text-break up or do it over the internet.. it was her decision!) so I told her and she was kind of "okay, well it was fun.. cya" and I was sitting there questioning if it was the right decision in the long run. I know distance makes things incredibly hard.. especially when you don't already have a bond to work with in the first place.

We haven't talked much since then. I saw her back on that same internet dating site (it's more of a social networking site that dating, but most people are there to hook up, I'm not going to lie). She had a new handle, new glamorous pics.. everything. I'm dating a girl now so I wasn't too upset about it and just hoped she was happy.

well today I get a text message with a link to a Canadian news site. I had since deleted her number, but I don't know anyone in Canada, it had to be her. Following the link I came across this:




Chaotic Day On Highway 403

Friday September 14, 2007

Traffic bedlam kept drivers in a frustrating state of stagnancy on Highway 403 Friday following two serious incidents. 

First a major grass fire broke out in Mississauga, forcing the closure of the westbound 403.

The fire broke out just before 1pm and all westbound lanes were temporarily closed at Highway 10 because of the thick smoke blowing out onto the road. The blaze reportedly began out in a Hydro right-of-way sending the flames moving east, and fire crews rushing to the scene trying to put them out.

Mississauga Fire expected it would take hours before the scene was completely cleared, though the westbound lanes have since been reopened.

Later Friday a person either fell or jumped from the Mississauga Road bridge.  The victim, a 20-year-old male, smashed through the windshield of a car below.  He was pronounced dead at the scene.

A female passenger in the car was badly hurt and airlifted to the Sunnybrook trauma center. The woman driving was treated by Peel medics at the scene for shock.

Traffic was understandably halted to a standstill for the second time of the day as cops tried to piece together what happened and emergency crews worked to aid the wounded.


My first pessimistic thought was it was her brother who leaped off of the bridge. Then I thought maybe she was just showing me some odd weekend that had occured and she was stuck in traffic.. I replied back to the text "grassfire?" and she replies back a few minutes later "I'm in hospital! Suicide" I read the article again closely and tried to see if there was a detail I had missed about the two women in the car. I didn't know if she was the one airlifted or the one treated at the scene, and maybe brought into the Hospital for something related. From these cryptic messages I tried to figure out who exactly what happened when she sent me the number at the hospital with her extension. Her mother picked up the phone and then gave it to Lynda.

Lynda sounded out of it, and like she had a mouth full of cotton. She was the one airlifted to the hospital and said that at first they thought she was okay, and would be treatable at the scene until they lifted her head and found that she was bleeding. Turns out she had 2 plates put into her cheek with pins, stitches, and her jaw was cracked. They told her that no scarring would occur and she would be 100% when she left the hospital. She went on to apologize for the link, telling me it was a forwarded message, and she tried to make small talk with me. The last thing I cared about was how sucky my day at work was. I told her to take care of herself and keep me posted.

Now I'm sitting here a little stunned, a little worried, and a lot of sentimental. I already had mixed feelings about breaking up with her. Just have to let it be.

The link to the page she sent me in the text is here

Comments

CapnHun's picture
Submitted by CapnHun on Thu, 09/20/2007 - 16:18
Interesting that she thought of you at such a time. Best of luck gigatrix.
SamuraiCoder's picture
Submitted by SamuraiCoder on Thu, 09/20/2007 - 16:21
It seems like she really did have a great time when you first met. For watever reason she may have cooled but a great experience like she had when she visited you can stick. The whole "life flashing before your eyes" thing. You have a special spot in her heart and she was scared shitless because she could have died. She reached out to someone she connected with. I have no advice. it doesn't sound like you really need it. Peace.
DrWhistler's picture
Submitted by DrWhistler on Thu, 09/20/2007 - 17:40
Interesting tail of events and crazy bad luck. Nothing else to say, i think Samurai summed it up. You gotta look forward to tomorrow i guess!
supergg2k's picture
Submitted by supergg2k on Fri, 09/21/2007 - 10:27
I agree with CapN. It is interesting. Just remember to follow your own words and let it be.
n3rf's picture
Submitted by n3rf on Thu, 09/20/2007 - 19:00
I've been there before. I was dating a new girl when an old interest called on me for support because of the death of her dog (we're both big animal ppl), so of course I had to be there for her. One of my few regrets in life was letting the old interest poison the possibility of the new one. I don't know if it was a case of wanting a flawless record, or wanting something you can't have, or getting answers to puzzling questions, or a chance to correct mistakes...but I'm sorry I occupied the space in my heart and thoughts for somebody who wasn't excited about being w/ me in the first place... especially when I ended up evicting someone more worthy for that space. Some ppl just never learn to leave the mindgames in highschool.

Join our Universe

Connect with 2o2p