Wigman
Shared on Fri, 09/28/2007 - 14:55My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed
"Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big
scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up,
that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
"Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to
raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
Tray-up, Bitch."
#2
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant,the third man was a Chemist,,,, and the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat,
"T-square, do your stuff."
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said,
"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,
"Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"
The Government Employee called his cat and said,
"CoffeeBreak, do your stuff."
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, sh*t on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
AND THAT'S WHY I WANT TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT
Have a good weekend !!! Later
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Comments
Submitted by Wigman on Mon, 10/01/2007 - 07:52
Submitted by TANK on Fri, 09/28/2007 - 15:02
Submitted by wilderz on Fri, 09/28/2007 - 15:12
Submitted by Bob on Fri, 09/28/2007 - 16:59