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UnwashedMass

Shared on Tue, 10/02/2007 - 19:04

Dang it!  Feeling a little guilty right now. 

The bio mom of the boy emailed today to say that she's taking him to Palm Springs this weekend.  I'll actually have grownup time to do stuff.  Like see Shoot 'Em Up, or some other grown up movie.  Friday night, my buddy's band is playing in the Valley, so I wanna go see them.  w00t!

See, the bio mom lives with her mother and brother.  The brother's criminal record precludes the option of my son staying the night.  The bio mom moved in with them so she could save rent money to fly to Nashville once a month to see her boyfriend who moved there.  To fulfill his dream of being a big time country and western singer.  He's from originally Delaware, I believe.  wth? I dunno. 

Because she has her priorities set as 1. boyfriend, 2. son, I have the boy EVERY NIGHT.  I love him to death, but sometimes, especially in my current situation, ya just wanna have some grown up time.  He's been with me solid for two months.  Since I got back from Vegas, actually.  I can't remember the last rated R movie I watched.

I also found out last week that she was laid off from her job and plans to spend the majority of October in Tennessee with her boyfriend and just might find a job there.  3000 miles from her son.  So the boy has lost two moms in one year.  2007 has to end soon.

So I feel guilty wanting to be away from the Monster when I know I'm the only person who has put him above all others.  Dad of the Year I'm not, but shit.

Somebody tell me it's normal to want some ME time!!  :D  I need a bit of a boost.

Comments

jackal857's picture
Submitted by jackal857 on Tue, 10/02/2007 - 19:09
It's very normal to want time to yourself. You know how hard it is being a single dad but remember one thing no matter what you do wrong your his hero and when he grows up you're his example to raise his kids. Me time though is very normal and I don't think any less of you for it.
stang503421's picture
Submitted by stang503421 on Tue, 10/02/2007 - 19:13
Me time keeps things in perspective.....go out and have a great time!
Devonsangel's picture
Submitted by Devonsangel on Tue, 10/02/2007 - 19:14
It is very normal to want some adult time. You have to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of him.
meemoos's picture
Submitted by meemoos on Tue, 10/02/2007 - 19:40
bring your boy here--he can play with my kids..then U take a vacation!!
DixieBelle's picture
Submitted by DixieBelle on Tue, 10/02/2007 - 19:45
Speaking as both a mom and a teacher, YES!!! Me time is extremely important. It helps you to re-center yourself and to be an adult, not the kind who says, "No, you can't have cake for breakfast." Your emotional and psychological well-being directly affect how you treat your son. Put simply, you can't "give" unless you have something to give. Enjoy your time, guilt free, my friend!
Raider30's picture
Submitted by Raider30 on Tue, 10/02/2007 - 19:56
Speaking as a father who has primary custody of his 5 year old son(10 nights with me/4 with mom) - I can tell you it is perfectly normal to want time to yourself - AND - it is also perfectly normal to feel a bit guilty about wanting such time. One of the hardest things I had to do was learn to not feel bad about feeling good when I did get that time alone.
UnwashedMass's picture
Submitted by UnwashedMass on Tue, 10/02/2007 - 21:39
Thanks folks. I know it, but sometimes you need to hear it. :D
OldManRiver48's picture
Submitted by OldManRiver48 on Tue, 10/02/2007 - 21:53
It is important in any type of relationship including Father/Son to fulfill some ME time. And dont stress about your boys Moms, your one of the biggest Mothers I know! ;-)
darththorn's picture
Submitted by darththorn on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 06:21
Don't feel guilty about it. Years later when your son is all grown up, he'll remember who was there for him, you are doing a good thing.
Em's picture
Submitted by Em on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 07:44
Dude, one word.....Babysitter
ATC_1982's picture
Submitted by ATC_1982 on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 09:21
It is always nice to have me time. So your normal cause I get me time after complaining all the time.
Anonymous's picture
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 15:29
dude i am running off to cali to have me time. :)
UnwashedMass's picture
Submitted by UnwashedMass on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 16:06
Bring it, Sys! :D
Bertt's picture
Submitted by Bertt on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 16:33
It's normal man, everybody needs a little me time regardless of their situation. Just get creative. You stay up later than him right, or get up earlier.... find a babysitter for once or twice a month. Of course I do realize this is all easier said than done, and I can't entirely understand because I am not in your situation. But it can be done.

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