Why am I pushing people away??!?!

Gatsu

Shared on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 08:38
I noticed something yesterday...well actually more or less something clicked and I came to a realization. I'm pushing people I know away. Not anyone on the site, but people I know personally. There are friends I've got (very few) that I've been ignoring and just not returning calls to...or avoiding their work place so I don't have to see them. That kind of thing.

Why though? with as few friends as I have already...why would I push who i do have away.

An old friend called me saturday.
Friend: "hey man...hows it goin? watcha up to tonight?"
Me: "I'm just hanging out with Jules...watchin a movie. You?"
Friend: "hey...you wanna go out and get smashed?"  (his exact words.)
Me: *laughs "nah man. you know thats not my thing. I'm not a big drinker."
Friend: "ah alright. how about we hook up for lunch tomorrow then?"
Me: "Sure. sounds good. just give me a call after 11:00. I should be up."
Friend: "aight homey. talk at ya tomorrow then."
Me: "later."

Next day...I make sure I'm not awake and that if anyone calls I'm not there. Now I don't really have a problem or quarrel with this guy. So why would I ditch him like that and ignore his call. -_-....

Another buddy of mine that works at EB I've quit talking too. We've tried to hook up and hang out but stuff always got in the way or he had a last minute hang up...so I would end up just chilling out by myself. And theres someone at EB who I used to call friend...but we recently had a bad falling out. So maybe Im just avoiding one because I know the other (ex-friend) will be close by and I would be too tempted to put his ass in the ground like a tent spike.

And finally my friend that I work with. I've told him that I didnt care about the new season of Heroes because last season dissapointed me too much. Which is true...but I know he really digs the show and we'd always talk about it at work the next day. But now I'm trying to find more and more reasons to not talk to him.

WTF?!?!?

When I leave work everyday I stare at the building as I pull out and say "fuck this place" under my breath. Then when i make it home I don't bother greeting anyone...I just go into my dark room, lay on the bed and drain my brain of the events of the day.

Tired of this shit. So I'm gonna try to mend some fences today and get back in touch with some people. After I get out of work that is...fuckin hate this place. grrr.

Gatsu OUT!

Comments

Gatsu's picture
Submitted by Gatsu on Thu, 10/04/2007 - 17:14
that would be cool man. just shoot me a message.
Devonsangel's picture
Submitted by Devonsangel on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 08:43
Sounds like depression. Might be time to talk to the doctor, see how long this has been going on and what you can do about it.
Gatsu's picture
Submitted by Gatsu on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 15:02
damn straight will. everyone'll get a taste of the wiffle bat of justice.
dos's picture
Submitted by dos on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 09:04
dude, we could compare notes on this jazz for days...wiring
NotStyro's picture
Submitted by NotStyro on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 15:08
Your in a funkin' rut, dude. Switch out your routine and mix it up. Take a Friday & Monday off and make a long weekend with friends at a resort or theme park. You don't really need to get trashed, but a bit buzzed or stoned might not hurt. Get out and live!!!
cerialthriller's picture
Submitted by cerialthriller on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 09:11
I kind of did the same thing you described. I don't really talk to my friends anymore and I kind of feel like a dick because it doesn't bother me whatsoever. None of my friends really shared my interests anymore, I used to be into the whole party and get messed up everynight scene, then i got out of school and got a job and started trying to be responsible, while they still just go out and get messed up everynight. None of them like to game or anything either, they keep just listening to the new bands that come out which I don't so I don't go to shows with them anymore cuz all the bands I wanna go see we've all seen 10 times so I dunno. my only concern is who the hell is gonna throw me a bachelor party next year, and I have nobody for my best man or anything.
Gatsu's picture
Submitted by Gatsu on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 09:34
I kinda feel the same way. most are gamers but don't play what I play...or are the "lets go get trashed" type. Im just not into that. doesnt mean I think Im better...i dont. I just dont l like that kind of thing. doscon - in the same boat then I guess? o_O
JeepChick's picture
Submitted by JeepChick on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 09:45
I do that about every 5 years. Out with the old friends that aren't keeping pace with my goals, and in with some new. Sometimes I look back and wonder where I would be if I still hung out with those people. You can always hope in the car and come see me. LIttle family 4 person Halo co-op? Maybe catch a dirt race at the speedway? Or go get trashed....lol :)
Gatsu's picture
Submitted by Gatsu on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 11:22
lol. Nah I'll just bring the camera and record you getting trashed. watching people getting drunk can be entertaining sometimes.
UnwashedMass's picture
Submitted by UnwashedMass on Wed, 10/03/2007 - 12:06
Dude, wait until COD4 comes out, go to Jeep's and film her smashing Timies in the mouth and talking smack the whole time! The put it on Youtube and we'll all laugh so hard we piss our trousers! :D Depression from my job really caused heartache at home. If you're miserable at work, it's REALLY tough to turn it off. It'll lead to depression and tension. By the time I realized it, she was long gone. Now the job is the coolest part of my day. Don't spend the majority of your waking hours doing something you love at a place you hate. Fuck it bro, go do some manual labor, if it'll pay the bills, get back to enjoying your talents rather than hawking them for some asshat design house. Point is, I'd rather haul bricks or dig ditches than go back to my old job, no matter the pay. Make sure when you quit you use the Wiffle Bat of Justice though.... :D
Shuttdown's picture
Submitted by Shuttdown on Thu, 10/04/2007 - 02:04
I know that I am usually the one getting advice from you but I can sort of relate. I used to have many friends until I got caught up in this whole depression thing. I am not saying that you are or are not depressed. What you need to do is identify the exact emotion or thought that you have when you actually do the pushing away and then try to find the root cause of that whole thing. I know that sounds kinda of silly but that is the kind of crap my therapist has me doing. Anyways, I see you online all the time maybe we can chat sometime about how we like to push people away and maybe that will help us get through this whole thing....

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