Wow a lot to say.....

***DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ABOUT THE COURSE OF EVENTS THAT HAPPENED ON FRIDAY CONCERNING THE PERMENENT POSITION I APPLIED FOR.  I DO NOT EXPECT MOST TO READ THIS, BUT I JUST HAD TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST***********************************

Well this has been a stressful, almost mental breaking few weeks for me.  I had my interview for the one, single, uno, (however you would like to say it) position available in my department.  11 people interviewed for it.  Mine was on Tuesday.  All the interviews were completed by Wednesday.  And to my understanding, the final decision would have been made by Thursday and the File forwarded to HR, for them to make an offer on Friday. Supposedly they were going to call you at your desk and offer you the position.  I was fine on Friday when I went in, no worries.  I really didn't expect them to announce anything this week anyway. (Of course at that time I was not aware of the above mentioned procedures.)  So Claudia comes by my desk Friday morning and says, "you got that call yesterday, didn't you?"  I was like, "what call?"  she says smiling "you know, the call from HR" I was like "noooooooo" she said "your lying!" I started freaking out, I said as calmly as I could "I didn't receive any call yesterday, were they supposed to call yesterday?" Meaning that I knew they hadn't called me so I probably didn't get the position.  My heart sank. She looked over at my phone and said "have you checked your messages?"  I was like "you mean V/M?  You think they might leave the offer on my voicemail?" I panicked.  I have not ever checked my voicemail since I started.  or even set up my VM box..LOL. I logged out and began checking my messages.....68 messages later, no call from HR.  Disappointed again, I went around and asked the others that applied, did you get the call?  Apparently they are not supposed to say anything if they do until it is announced. But mid way through the day I had been asked, IM';d, prodded, accused of lying, and I was flat out just sick at my stomach and almost to the point of tears.  My nerves were shot, if I didn't get it just fucking tell me before I give myself an ulcer. I would be okay with that because I wuld at least know.  So, nobody is saying anything, at this point everyone is asking everyone else if they received a call.  Everyone is glued to there phone watching for their now empty voicemail boxes to light up red....it is insane.  I IM'd my Team Lead, and said.." I am not asking you to tell me who got the position, just please clarify what the time frame is for the call from HR please." He replied " HR should be making their offer to the person today" .  It was 3:30 pm.  Brandi and I went on our last break at 4pm.  Yes I had a cigarette.  I couldn't eat lunch earlier in the luncheon meeting I attended for almost 2 hours.  We walked out of the room into the hall, and their was Mike, my manager, and Frances coming out of the conference room where we interviewed.  My heart fell into the bottomless pit of my stomach.  That was it..I knew at that moment I didn't get it.  We got in the elevator and talked about how Frances had been acting strange....we both thought he was a guarenteed canidate because he too is Gay, like my manager, and i figured that he could claim discrimination if he wasn'choosen. I like Frances he is so fun to talk to and a really good friend.  However, he had just told me the other day that he was getting burned out.  While Brandi and I were outside were were like, "well at least we know" and "I am glad it went to someone in the billing department"..See 5 out of the 11 that applied were outside our department. So I was disappointed, but happy that it was one of my friends, and happy to at least know.  The pain was in my stomach eased up a little.  We went back up stairs and Brandi was going to talk to Frances. 

I sat down and IM'd my Team Lead and told him that I knew that I didn't get the position and I knew who did, and that was okay.  He wrote back and wanted to know "How did you find out?" I explained what I saw in the hall with out mentioning names..and he told me not to assume anything.  What-ever.  I consider that false hope and it was already almost 5..I had recieved no call and you know HR doesn't work past 5 pm.  I was off to enjoy my weekend in a little over 30 minutes. So 5:30 rolls around and Claudia comes back and is like "well?"  I said "no, I didn't,"  She looks at me and starts laughing, "If I find out that you did and your a lying to me I will..." then a stream of spanish which I can't understand..I look her in the eye..I said "IF I had gotten the call, I am not supposed to tell, however, I would be in a lot better mood and not so mopey...so no I swear I didn't get any calls, offering any position for which I have applied for." So I said goodnight, have a great weekend....blah blah blah and walked outside. 

Frances was leaving and talking about going to get a drink at Chedders down the street and he was going to make it a strong one.  I figured he was celebrating..I caught up with him  and said Congratulations, I know you got the job, right? He was like "No"  I at that point had enough.  Tears started flowing and my stomach cramped up again.  I said" I won't say anything, but I can't handle this anymore, please just tell me that I didn't get it so that I can stop waiting on what may never come. I have made myself sick, and I just need to know.  I won't say anything I promise." He grabbed me by the hand and said, "No, I was called in to the confrenece room where we interviewed, and he explained that I was not the one that was chosen..that he did not interview well, and they were looking for something else at this time."  He said that he was pissed, off at Mike, and that Mike caught back up with him and was trying to smooth things over.  Frances told me out of all the people that were interviewing, he was scared of me, and was sure that I was the one that was chosen.  He also said that Mike will speak with everyone interviewed.BEFORE he sends the file to HR to make the offer.  Soooooooooo, I have been stressed out over a call that HR can't even make yet because they don't have the file.  Who ever gets the position will know before they get the call.  So that is how it works.  Sorry it was long, and I am not even through yet, but I have to go..so there will probably be more later.  Thank you if you actually made it through..........

Meow Meow