Blag rhymes

So it's week two of my new blag and I think I'm getting the hang of it. As you can tell, I enjoy silly rhymes. Not silly like Dr. Suess, but more like Shel Silverstein combined with the Beastie Boys. Although I think I have my own style, I know I've been compared to those the most. Shel has a very silly sense of humor and leans toward the absurd at every chance and the Beasties have a distinct rhyme flow.

In high school I was a hip hop DJ. I was always the man behind the turntables and never the one on the microphone. But I really enjoyed writing. I had a few notebooks full of rhymes before I met up with two other DJs who were also "wanna-be rappers". So we would get together to make mix tapes for people and occasionally drop in a rhyme or 9 at the end of the tape. All wacky stuff, and filled with inside jokes. So anyone outside our trio who heard it would say "What the hell?!?" Which is how we liked it. We'd take turns creating the beats, scratching over the breaks, and squawking on the mic. So what you see here is an old habit. I still write to entertain myself  and don't really care who hears it. I appreciate that some of you have bookmarked me and keep coming back.

Today's blag is a bit more violent than the previous ones, but it's kind of a stream of consciousness writing style. I never know what comes next until it's written. I think maybe I was still pissed off at my puppy for chewing up stuff in the backyard. Either that or I played too much Halo / Bioshock / COD4 over the weekend. But I gave up psychoanalyzing my rhymes years ago. So without further adieu...

-= Save the Manatee =-

I saw a kitty cat on the side of the road
I swerved to run him over, but then I saw a toad
And I thought, man I really want to hear that squish
So I swerved to the left, but dang I missed

Murderizin' animals is how I keep my sanity
I headed down to Sea World, so I could kill a Manatee
And while I was there, just to get some kicks
I sat by the aquarium and ate some fish sticks

Shamu didn't like it and splashed me with some water
So I said to myself, "Krazy, time for slaughter"
Stuck Shamu with a grenade, sniped me a dolphin
Since I was close to Torrey Pines, I stopped and got some golf in

Tiger Woods was there, and he started shootin' geeses
He he used a battle rifle and they splattered into pieces
I laughed at first, then it made me kinda sick
That Tiger Woods fella's just a d*ck!

.:. Inspired by - (www.savethemanatee.org)