Loneliness

I have been reading up on loneliness a bit lately. I have found that it is a feeling of "something missing" in your life and may be related to depression or social anxiety. Often affairs, breakups and abuse become the result of the awareness that "something is missing". That is so very sad. Now, I have felt lonely many times, and it has become a chronic thing. Yes, i have been known to be depressed, but I am not feeling that way now. But, social anxiety, on the other hand, is a huge problem with me.

Social anxiety, also known as Social phobia or social anxiety disorder is an experience of fear, apprehension or worry regarding social situations and being evaluated by others. People vary in how often they experience anxiety in this way or in which kinds of situations. Anxiety about public speaking, performance, or interviews is common. The experience is commonly described as having physiological components (e.g. sweating, blushing), cognitive/perceptual components (e.g. belief that one may be judged negatively; looking for signs of disapproval) and behavioral components (e.g. avoiding a situation). Not all cases deal with fear of being judged negatively, as some cases have social anxiety without any specific reason. (Wikkipedia)

That is soooo me. Those that know me online would say that it is not true, but, it is. So, I have been instructed to start thinking about goals to "get out" and be with people. Well, I am doing that in April at the NE LAN. It is difficult for me to be in an enclosed area like that with all those techy machines and people, but it is a good thing for me. I also need some short term goals. Those are the hardest, actually. I have to be with "real" people! Ack! I have no problem going to work, but seeing those same "friends" outside of work is hard. I want to stay in my cave with my PC, laptop, xbox, etc. Get what I mean, jellybean? Ha! That's where I am, right now! And, I don't talk on the phone much, either. Funny......

First short term goal will be to get with my friend, Michelle. She's home after back surgery and will be out of work for 3 months. I told her to call me when she gets lonely. I expect that call soon. Then, I have a tentative date with Beth to go out to dinner in the next couple of weeks. Yikes! I'll do it. I will! Really!