Mandingo
Shared on Fri, 04/04/2008 - 08:45I just love small town life. You know, the one where everyone knows you and your business. I've got to be pretty careful when I'm driving, you never know when that person you flip off is a board member, a boss, a relative by marraige or what. If you live in a small town you probably look forward to the weekly paper too. Not because of the hard hitting journalism and insightful articles...but for the police blotter of course.
Just skimming through today's I see that somebody broke the mirror of a U-Haul truck, somebody else shot a BB gun at a store window and there was a hit and run accident involving shrubbery and lawn ornaments.
This is a slow week. You can usually count on someone getting a DUI on a bicycle, writing bad checks or stealing potato chips valued at $.79. The potato chip one was actually in last weeks paper, with the retards name, which as I said, everyone knows.
We had a real doosey 2 or 3 weeks ago where a girl was caught stealing a pregnancy test. OOps, I think that cat is out of the bag, and now all the old Italian Catholic gossips know (in addition to the rest of the town).
The moral of the story....don't do dumb shit it a small town - and laugh at those who do, and get caught.
EDIT: I just skimmed the paper again -- I don't know how I missed this the first time.
"Citations were issued on March 24 to "jim bob" for allegedly damaging the door to Valone's Brooklyn Grocery by recklessly pushing it. He was charged with disorderly conduct and criminal mischief."
Just skimming through today's I see that somebody broke the mirror of a U-Haul truck, somebody else shot a BB gun at a store window and there was a hit and run accident involving shrubbery and lawn ornaments.
This is a slow week. You can usually count on someone getting a DUI on a bicycle, writing bad checks or stealing potato chips valued at $.79. The potato chip one was actually in last weeks paper, with the retards name, which as I said, everyone knows.
We had a real doosey 2 or 3 weeks ago where a girl was caught stealing a pregnancy test. OOps, I think that cat is out of the bag, and now all the old Italian Catholic gossips know (in addition to the rest of the town).
The moral of the story....don't do dumb shit it a small town - and laugh at those who do, and get caught.
EDIT: I just skimmed the paper again -- I don't know how I missed this the first time.
"Citations were issued on March 24 to "jim bob" for allegedly damaging the door to Valone's Brooklyn Grocery by recklessly pushing it. He was charged with disorderly conduct and criminal mischief."
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