Dad Spam, Dad Steaks, and Sunburnt

Dad Spam:

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process told him that he would now need to enter a password, something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather frisky mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in 'P....E. ..N....I....S..'

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

***** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*****

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There was this really old guy at an old-timer's dance, and the problem was that he hadn't had any sex for a long time. He'd been dancing with all the grandmas all night, but still hadn't scored.

Frustrated, he approached an old grandma and said, "I'm having no luck scoring a woman. How about coming back to my place for a roll in the hay? I'll give you 20 bucks!"

She says, "I'm willing, let's go".

They get back to his place and after a bit of foreplay; they head for the bedroom. He loves the sex and can't get over how tight she is for such an old woman. He thinks that she's got to be a virgin.

After the wonderful performance, he rolls off of her and puffs, "Wow! Lady, if I had of known you were a virgin, I would have given you 50 bucks".

Surprised, she says, "If I had of known you were actually going to get a hard-on, I would have taken my pantyhose off!"

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I am sunburnt. Super-duper-hot to the touch- people gasp when you show them- sunburnt. My hubby as well, but he's got the pink belly too. That's what we get for a day at the lake in 100 degree weather. It was fun though, went out on the party barge (pontoon boat) my son swam some. We played in the sprinklers in the backyard near the dock, finished off the evening with steaks on the deck listening to Bo Diddly.

Update: Aloe check.  Solarcaine Check Check.  And yes, this is WITH sunscreen, the kids had it too.  50 waterproof blah blah. The difference is they had on life jackets and ballcaps in the boat, we didn't.  I swear that is the only reason they didn't get burned. A couple hours in the direct sun on a boat will get you.  And I couldn't feel it because we were mobile, steady breeze.