Jokes from step-dad

A husband and wife are shopping at a local liquer store and the husband
picks up a case of Budweiser and put it in their shopping cart.

”What do you think you're doing?” asks the wife.

“They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,” he replies.

“Put them back, we can't afford them,” demands the wife. So he does and they
carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and
put it in the shopping cart.

“What do you think you're doing?” asks the husband.

“Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: “So does 24 cans of Budweiser and its half the price.”


 Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this
 HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy
 staring at him looks down and says: '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch
 private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.'
 The little guy faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down
 and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says: 'What's wrong with
 you?'
 In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'
 The big dude says: 'I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give
 you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me..... I'm 7 feet
 tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3
 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.'
The small guy says: 'Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said,
Turn around'.

and some early Durty photoshopping FTHOI