Controversial Blogs: Why the Hate?

I agree 100% , I would have never thought it before...but after reading the responses to his blogs there are a LOT of bigots and homophobes on this site.

a lot of comments i have seen ask if he's for real or just goofing on us. i don't really care much either way. crossdessing worked for Poison. why not for deathlok? i'd rather see j-cat in a cross-dressing gay lesbian layout!

I guess it depends on your point of view. In my mind, when 1% of the site actually may care about Lok's cross-dressing, really, nobody else does. Blog what you want, but ya know what? Expect to get the nay sayers and those that want to put you down. Why? Your on a gaming website, people are here to game. Sure, sometimes people ask for advice in their blogs, rant about a really bad day or commute or something that's not going so well in their life, look at JollyRoger. But, there is a difference. Jolly's posts are personal, true, but in my mind, giving status updates on your children and their trials in life is much different than talking about why you cross dress. Personally, if you have some odd against the grain stuff, which I put cross dressing in the "not exactly typical" category, I'd much rather see him/her take it to a support site about cross dressers. They must have forums and blogging systems for people with all types of niche concepts, ideas, issues, etc. The readers of those sites are probably going to actually care, give positive feedback and perhaps even share their own perspective on the problem. Doing that on a gaming website? C'mon, if you don't already know what you're up against then you're more naive than anyone could imagine. Imagine going into a Catholic church and preaching about some other religion. You think that'd go over well? Probably not. Do you really expect it to? Is it the Catholic's fault they don't want to hear, don't care to hear or go against what you're talking about emotionally and loudly? There is a time and a _place_ for everything and the Internet is full of crazy places for every single style of individual. Cross dress? I'm sure there are tons of sites, like to be beaten on? Dress in rubber? Eat flowers? Vegan? Atkins? Eating disorder? There is a site for everyone. This is a site for gamers. You're going to be judged, probably unfairly, but that's not going to change. Those that have the high blog counts know the demographic, know the system... posting nude chicks in a demographic of almost all older men... uh... yeah, duh. That's going to work. Soup posts some hot chicks, some funny stories, and a variety of off the wall stuff to split up your day with a bit of funny. Tank posts about, well, gaming news, go figure... It's sorta like that Sesame Street game "which one of these things just doesn't belong?" Personally, I don't care if you're a cross dresser or have some motivation, preach elsewhere. I have this same opinion of people driving up to my house and trying to sell me into a religion... if I want it, I'll come find you. Until then, GTFO. I've never called him gay, as a matter of fact, I only read the blog to see what funny crap people say to him. Because people can be pretty creative, and I'm in the mood to laugh, not be told why someone likes to dress like a chick. Is it hate? No, I don't hate him, I just find that he's going about it all wrong. Nobody here really cares, and those that do make up the minority, most of which won't be vocal anyway. Sure, we're socialized to believe something, but we should also mind our environment and understand when something should be said and when it should be taken to a different soap box destination, like a cross dressing community website, forum and blog.

People preach all kinds of crap around here, why should his be any different? You've got your right-wing uber conservative blog, your naked pics blog, your funny stories blog...I agree with j-cat - why does everyone care so much? Let him write what he wants, and if you're not interested, don't read it.

Ok, I'm the one that pushed him/her whatever into the blogs. No one really wanted to see it in the forums and I don't blame them. I think the way that many people look at it is.....because we are hetro non-crossdressers, we don't blog/post about that. No one really cares. If we posted about how straight we were and how men like men clothes and women like womens clothes there would be a huge backlash because we are talking about it. Somehow society has made it ok for people 'outside the box' to brag about the way they are and we are taught tolerance. The reverse is not true though. People 'inside the box' can no longer have their opinions even though we have to listen to the crap spewed by other people. I'm not a homophone or whatever, in fact, I don't really give a shit about what other people do. I agree with having tolerance, but, the people that we have tolerance for should also return the favor with respect. MJ

I am all for him talking about his personal experiences wearing alternative clothing...but just posting all the stuff trying so hard to convince a group of (mostly) heterosexual men that he is straight and not gay is going to get slammed with negative comments. I would love to hear about the funny, sad, interesting things that happen when he is wearing the clothing, nails, panties, whatever...but constantly preaching about how straight he is undermines what he is trying to say and ends up putting everyone, including himself, on the defensive.

J-Cat, it's exactly the same from the emotional level and reactions that people will have. I don't care if you can be a cross dresser and a gamer, when you start preaching your "beliefs" to a majority of people that don't share those beliefs, you're going to get the same reaction, perhaps more emotional or "hate" than you'd expect. Personally, I wouldn't expect anything different. Why do I say nobody cares? Hmm, ask him how many negative thumb's he's getting, I'm sure if that many people care it would be easily +20, but I'm getting it's close to -20. Sure, it's just a theory, but I've been around here a long time... those that do care are probably going to be fairly silent, those that don't care are going to fall into two categories: those that ignore the blog and those that respond in the negative. You'd be naive to think that someone on this site is going to be able to preach about cross dressing without a lot of negative reaction. GoldenEye, its a top blog now... because its new and, oddly enough, its sorta like seeing a car accident. You know it's going to be bad, but you look anyway. As you've said, if you don't like it, don't read it. I don't anymore, I did the first few times but then I saw a repeated theme. I like blogs that have a bit of variety, reason I don't really read TANKS blogs because I know most of them are news links which I've already seen in my travels. Unfortunately, that means I don't click to see any of his other content because 90% of the time it's a news post. Do I care that he blogs about news? Nope. All I'm saying is if you really thought a bunch of guy gamers were going to give Lok tons of hugs for coming out and explaining himself, then you're really not privy to the goings on here on the Internet. Lok gets only 10% of the flames 2old2play gets when they appear on SlashDot, Digg or other news site for an editorial. It's time to get over it and realize that more people are going to hate on your than understand you until you take your cause and preaching to a site that shares your beliefs. I'll defend the "haters" because I understand a few things about them. They're guys, many of them perhaps "alpha males" they're used to the Net and knowing they can say what's on their mind and they're a bit more childish in behavior because, well, they're big into gaming. There is a kid in all of us, that same kid that loves games also has no problem calling a cross dresser a homo. I think it's just part of the personality of the majority of gamers. I'm sure a few people (I'd guess less than 15) have no problem reading his content and being all pleased to see how brave he is...the rest...well, they're ready to tell you why you're a homo. If you want to blog about it, prepare to deal with it because it's not going to stop.

im gone for 3 days and all hell breaks loose. wtf

J-Cat, I don't read it, it doesn't bother me that it's in a blog. It was just somethign that wasn't really suited for the forums, just like politics isn't around in the forums anymore.

here is my 2 cents or half cent i blog about all kinds of shit, some related to gaming and some not, when something i blog about gets thumbs down, or whatever i really dont care. because there are groups of people who do enjoy the read. i guess its like anything else, if he wants to blog about whatever then cool, the majority of us that blog on a regular basis dont blog about gaming all the time, if people want to read it, they will,if not they dont have to. who here is going to blog about what we all want to read about all the time? if all i read was gaming news all day id want to kill myself and i love gaming. sometimes when people get personal it gives you a view into there lives. which to me is important since a lot of us spend a lot of time here.

Dear Diary/public blog: Sometime a while back, personal diary's turned into blogs....which is a shortened term for Web log. Diary's are supposed to be personal, and only the writer should be able to read their thoughts, and shit.....(I don't know, never had a diary, but I've known plenty of women who have) When you write a blog, instead of in your Diary or what ever, and make it public.....#1 Be true to your word and what your trying to say and realize that not everyone will agree, or like what you have to say....#2: You better have thick skin if your laying out your personal life on the web, where ever it is....because if you can't handle negative responses both true, and those who leave negative responses just to be immature....you should really keep personal stuff to yourself, or only talk to trusted friends about offline.

I think that there are many reasons people have their own blogs. In some cases, it might be a form of semi-anonymous self expression. Regardless of the reasons why someone has a blog up and what the content is, I think the same "golden rule of society" applies online as off-line: Treat others as you would like to be treated. Sicrik's post above also mirrored my opinion about the content you blog about...if you put something out there that is going to ruffle a few feathers or stir up a dust cloud or two...you have to be prepared for and accept the equally anonymous responses OR keep it all private. In specific regards to Deathlok's blog: Rock on, brother. I post about non-gaming related stuff often and think he should post whatever it is that suits his style in the community. If "they" don't like it, "they" can skip it or choose not even to look at it.

Also, one way to get "top blog" for the month is to blog daily. That never hurts :) One way people get to the top of the charts quickly is to be consistent and always have a blog at the top.

in the forums, his posts were sometimes confrontational, and he was a bit trollish. I could care less what he writes in his blog, but i could also care less about and comments that get left on his blog. That's the beautiful thing about blogs...they go both ways. So, if he wants people to allow him to speak what he wants, he's got to be able to take the hate that gets spewed back at him. Might not be right...might not be ideal....but it is what it is. the forum threads he posted in were continually locked. maybe because of him, maybe because some people don't like him. Don't know. But if they were locked continually, I think someone would get the idea that those threads were either considered taboo or eventually would lead to trouble. So, I would stop writing them all together and make my case with a blog. He did, kudos to him.

If you are going to put your personal life on display for all to read about, you'd better be prepared for a reaction from people who disagree with you, otherwise you might want to think about keeping it to yourself. I've read a few of blogs simply for the entertainment value. People's reactions amaze me. I don't have any issue with what he says or what he chooses to do, that's his business. I do, however, disagree with how he goes about getting his message out there. His stance that everyone else is wrong for following a herd mentality doesn't exactly lend weight to his arguments. He is asking for tolerance of what he does and he has received it. I've seen numerous responses saying people do not care what he does, it's up to him. Yet he still displays contempt for anyone who does not agree with him for his choices on how he dresses. Because people choose to dress traditionally does not mean they are not going to take issue with what he is doing. There are plenty of other "shock" value manners of dressing that a lot of people wouldn't choose. Doesn't mean it is wrong for someone else to do it. Perhaps if he was a little less confrontational and a little more tolerant, he'd have a better chance of getting his message across. Regardless, if you don't like what he blogs about, just don't read it. However, if you are going to blog about a controversial issue, be prepared for some backlash. At least it's providing something to talk about.

J-Cat, you've got it, that's exactly what I'm saying. As for Timmy behavior being okay? Well, in some ways, yes, quite so. As long as it doesn't break the TOS then it's okay behavior. Is it proper or socially acceptable to be an adult that acts like a child? Not in all cases, do I think it's okay? No, I think its immature... as you can tell I didn't call anyone out or poke a specific individual. Some people tend to do stupid things at some point in their time on a forum, blog or general internet. Usually its political based (which is why we sorta banned political talks in the forums). Some topics bring out the worst in people, especially when emotions get involved. Do they get immature about it? Definitely. Do I condone it? No. All I'm saying is, yes, it happens, and it seems to happen a lot more to the "gamer mentality" Not everything posted in his comments has been hate, but it can still be immature. Calling someone "gay" for cross dressing, in my opinion, isn't "hate," it's ignorance and stupidity for sure, but not hate. There are gray areas between someone doing something immature and hating on them. Don't be quick to judge my word as defending a hater, I choose my words wisely and leave room for interpretation for sure, giving people the opportunity to "read into it" so I can see what they're really thinking. All I'm saying is, preaching word of cross dressing to a male dominated gamer website isn't going to get you hugs and support, it's just not. Is that right? Probably not, but its the facts. As many folks have said, if you're going to open yourself up to everyone expect lots of negativity. The world is full of it. Lastly, it's also important to understand a) many internet users fail to use their brain before using their fingers to type something. Thinking after its posted. b) its hard to read sarcasm and emotion in words so things can be more "extreme" then actually presented and c) saying something to someone's face isn't the same as typing it. It's easier to type it, but you know what? its also easier to be more open and honest about your feelings, negative or not, when you're typing. Again, I don't care either way. I have no problem ignoring his blog, I just wish there was a way to block it from the page for my account so I can see a different persons blog at the top to click on. Having lok's always present at the top pushes off one of the others I may actually want to read (and then I have to go to "latest posts" link and look there). I'll ask DSmooth if there is a way to simply block out a users blog from displaying at the top. Perhaps that would help a bit. However, like I said... you know a car accident is ugly but you still take a look anyway. People may click on it because its just too hard not to be curious but yet too hard NOT to comment once they see it.

missed you at the LAN! (pretending to be oblivious to all this.... works on my kids!) ;)

Something about the guy makes my hair stand on end. I don't trust him. My thoughts drift to "he's perverted". I mostly have stayed away from his posts because of my gut feelings. When he posted about being a school teacher the alarm bells went off and so did my mouth. Pervert + school teacher equals trouble in my opinion. I may yet ask some of my family members in enforcement to check in on him. I don't have enough data on him yet. If he keeps posting maybe I'll get the nugget I'm looking for. If someone on this site talked about driving drunk, wouldn't you be upset at them. That's exactly what happened once before on this site. People looking after people. I can't do much about a gut feeling though, except keep my eyes open.

"This is a site for gamers. You're going to be judged, probably unfairly, but that's not going to change. Those that have the high blog counts know the demographic, know the system... posting nude chicks in a demographic of almost all older men... uh... yeah, duh. That's going to work." But you see, I find porn offensive and demeaning to women, but I never say anything. I wouldn't now except to make a point. If we are not censored, then leave him alone. Just don't read it. Let me tell you what I see that bothers me most of all. This site is becoming filled with hate, personal attacks, and people putting others down. Look at yourselves before being critical of others. With some of the crap I see posted here, who has the right to critique anything. The mentality has become anything goes. So, this is what you get.

Have a good day J-Cat and remember to turn that frown upside down. :) 8)

My only issue was that at first he seemed to be drawing attention to himself needlessly with all of the cross-dressing stuff. I post about personal stuff in my blog all the time. Its no biggy. He can post whatever he wants in his blog. Thats cool. But I gotta agree with Mike on this. The people in the box have to bend too far for the people outside and they get no respect for it because its "normal".

I guess I have to add to this. I am almost always in the top 25 bloggers cuz i blog almost every day. What about? Nothing. many times it is absolutely nothing. Yet, I get numerous hits. I like to blog about my gkids, what happened at work, how I didn't get picked up at the airport yesterday! etc. I don't know if I have ever blogged about gaming, even tho this is a gaming site. My blogs are personal most of the time, but not toooo personal, if ya know what I mean. That said, I think a blog is a blog, whether it is about gaming or whatever. Mine is always whatever. And I agree, that, if you are going to put something out there that will be flamed, depend on it being flamed! Sometimes that is all the person really wants is a response. That is what kids do when they are acting up, trying to get attention. Negative feedback is better than no feedback at all. So, I say, blog whatever you want, take the consequences, and move on.

Code stop talking about what "most" gamers think and say until you are prepared to deliver some evidence to me that you have insight into it that I don't. J-Cat's right. Gay is not an insult- it's a sexual orientation that encompasses a wider minority in most nations then any other ethnic division. When it is used as an insult it is as evidentiary of ignorance and prejudice as people who still talk about "race." When you speak from ignorance and prejudice rather then from a considered opinion that's hatespeak- in my opinion. Please note, In my opinion. Not anyone else's, not 1% of the population, not "a significant majority," just mine. Thanks J-Cat for an important blog.

I still think he is gay.