BURNT OUT

Well here's the full story of why I'm taking a break.  As many of you know I work 2 jobs and have for over 4 years now, in the past couple of months I have been putting in overtime at my 1st job.  My 1st job is from 3pm to 11pm the 2nd job is from 11:30pm to 7am in the morning.  I was informed last week that at my 1st job that a operator quit and 3rd shift will need to be covered on Fridays and Saturdays 3rd shift (the days I'm off).  Well I got nominated to train the new guy until I feel comfortable that he can handle it himself, which will take probably until after the first of the year.  The Head Operator is planning on retiring next year which they are going to hire another guy to start getting him trained, and I'm getting stuck doing that.

A couple of years ago my dad's health got pretty bad, and he had to quit work.  He fell on hard times no money, he had to wait 3 months to get his retirement.  Which got him in a bind with bills.  So I helped all I could and would do it again and wished I could have done more.  I started working 2nd shift when my oldest daughter was in the 1st grade now, she's in 7th grade.  I haven't got to spend alot of time with her in these past several years do to her going to school and me working 2nd shift.  My youngest daughter I started working my 2nd job when she was 1 year old.  I miss them sooo bad, I hope they understand when they get older the reason why I wasn't there was because I had, too not because I wanted too.

I started working full time at both jobs, and after 2 years cut back to part time at my second job (4 days a week).  I never have no "me time" when I'm off on Fridays and Saturdays I try to do what the family wants to do or run errands, do yard work etc etc etc.  I'm to the point now that I think I'm at the breaking point, I so tried that I don't have enough energy to do anything my personality has changed, I don't crack jokes all the time anymore I don't have motivation to do anything.  Maybe it's a middle life crisis, but I'm only 33 (Saturday is my birthday I'll be 34), maybe I'm just burnt out I don't know.  I have a overwhelming urge just to buy a motorcycle, shave my head (never have done that before) shave "clean shaved" (I have always have some type of facial hair), put a couple hundred bucks in my pocket and just pike a direction and go, and not come back for a week or so. 

I don't know why I have this urge, maybe it's to do some soul searching, maybe I'm tired of life, or maybe not having a life.......

But don't worry about me I'm fine just need to figure some stuff out.

DOUBLE WHAT?????????