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From Merry to Mayhem

JeepChick

Shared on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 11:36
 
I cannot pretend to understand the struggles of a homosexual individual in this world.  The few years I walked that side of the fence, I didn't advertise it.  
 
My sister has struggled since her teens. She has been openly gay with our family for years.  They are very accepting of her, and have always welcomed her girlfriend's at family events. There was just one sector that she had not shared that with:  My father's family.
 
Hillbilly.  Redneck.  Strong, deep rooted faith and family values.  You know the brand of American I am describing.  My father's family hails from the same town as Eric Rudolph up in the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina.  They still drop N-bombs ... how could she think they would react any way but negative?
 
I couldn't have stopped it, or even tried to talk her through it.  She went up early, took my grandmother, aunt, uncle and cousin's to dinner and laid it on them. 
 
BAM.  Oh yes, holding her girlfriend's hand right there at the table and topping it off with a kiss and a proclamation of her love.
 
It should have been one of those... "Oh we already knew sweetheart!  We are glad you feel comfortable sharing it with us now!"  or maybe "Wow!  That explains a lot!  But good for you."  The focus should have been that my sister has found a gal she wants to spend the rest of her life with....
 
I arrived late Thanksgiving Eve and checked into our hotel.  Oblivious to the epic dinner occurring at that moment, I was fretting over meeting my older sister that we just found out existed last year (college fling in church parking lot = 42 year old sibling), seeing my grandmother for the first time in 7 years, and meeting my cousin's children! 
 
Over breakfast at the hotel (frenchtoast bricks and some eggy, bacony mess slapped on a burnt bagel) she fell apart as she recounted their reaction.  She got the Ban Hammer.  No Thanksgiving, not welcome in their homes, stay away from their children.  /sigh.  Like she is some sort of demonic baby snatcher!  Offers of "fixing her", praying for her, and reminders that she was going to hell for her sin.
 
I'm at a loss.  The family's way of dealing with things like this is to pretend they don't exist.  Eventually everyone starts to doubt if it even occurred.... but it always comes back up... kinda like that college fling and that ranting pregnant woman that stood on my grandmother's doorstep 42 years ago.
 
 
-------
 
My long lost older sibling looks like me, well me if I never ate a thing.  Sooooooo skinny, skullface skinny.  But she isn't very interesting, and as much as I tried, I couldn't hold a conversation with her.  :(  Her kids are cute, her husband is Southern Genteeeeeeel, and ... that's about all I got to find out.

Comments

Flying_Saffa's picture
Submitted by Flying_Saffa on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 05:24
I never quite understand how "people of faith" can be so cruel to others regardless of their beliefs/sexuality. If you're a person of faith you should be able to accept anyone. Hate the sin, love the sinner I have been told before. That being said....lesbians rock!!!
Mandingo's picture
Submitted by Mandingo on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 09:38
.....As long as they're both hot.
jackal857's picture
Submitted by jackal857 on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 11:59
That's sad about that side of the family not excepting your sister. I don't understand this sort of thing. It's a personal choice and if that's what she likes then so be it! I have a friend that went through that with her family and one side is fine with it and one is very upset. I hope your sister doesn't let this get her down.
Automan21k's picture
Submitted by Automan21k on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 12:16
comming from a family who feels that Videogames are the spawn of satan, I still can't begin to understand what she's going through. It's terrible that there are such intollerent people still in this world.
Devonsangel's picture
Submitted by Devonsangel on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 12:32
It's good that she still has you jeepy. I can't imagine the alienation she must feel from the family.
J-Cat's picture
Submitted by J-Cat on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 12:34
Your sister may not have seemed interesting, BUT she may have been really nervous. Re: your other sister, it's tough, I can't imagine
Durty's picture
Submitted by Durty on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 12:36
I'm sorry your family is behaving that way towards your sister. My sister and I had a lot of the same issues with our family when they found out that we are both actively bi and that my sister was in a poly relationship....but we just wouldn't allow them to do that crap to us....me so more than her. She was willing to accept their bigotry in that regard, I wasn't. Took them a while to get over it, but they did, I just kept showing up and forcing them to face me, lol. I really hope that your family chooses to understand her and get over their bigotry about it. Family is family, no matter what...sometimes they forget that though. :(
RhyoOhki's picture
Submitted by RhyoOhki on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 13:22
That sucks that your family is unaccepting of your sister and her life choice. But at least she has you and I guess the other side of the family
FreynApThyr's picture
Submitted by FreynApThyr on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 13:52
Jesus Jeep when you throw a family get together you really know how to do it up right. In my family we usually try to keep the coming out, revelations of interracial love, adultery, youthful indiscretions, felony arrests and tail removal at a one at a time pace. I guess doing it all at once might be more fun at that. Family sucks, but you only get one. I learned a long time ago as long as I didn't write anyone off there was always the chance that they might one day surprise. The Grand uncle that called my wife a Kike at our wedding just passed away and it turns out his kids knew it might have been rude. Anyone that ever has told me they would "pray for me" I just keep praying for. Good luck trying to lead your family down the road of enlightenment. If you pass me going the other way occasionally slap me in the head and set me straight would you?
Gatsu's picture
Submitted by Gatsu on Mon, 12/01/2008 - 14:31
did she not know what kind of people they were? If she had of known that she would have been able to judge the reaction. Really sucks though....
parottthead's picture
Submitted by parottthead on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 07:35
Sorry to hear how blind your family is, Jeep. I am from Appalachia myself, and my parents are what I consider conservative Baptists. My sister's best friend from HS is lesbian, with a girlfriend that meets the butch stereotype very well. My mom has no problem welcoming them to the house when they are in town and treats them just like any other family. In that regard we are lucky. And isn't it ironic that the same people who condemn your sister think it is fine for one of their own to be an adulterer (isn't that one of the big 10?). Either that or your sister will be welcomed back to the family in 42 years.

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