BalekFekete
Shared on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 08:36I can see the scene now. Somewhere, in a conference room in Hollywood or the neighboring areas, men and women are pouring over a proposed script for a new movie. They are all deep in thought, poking and prodding at their memories and subconsciousness while giving consideration to one important...one very important feature of any movie: the name. After all, the name is the first thing a potential viewer gets to know of a film. It's what links the inevitable trailer we see to the film, what we use to identify it with friends and family. With all the thought that goes into it, I am not surprised many are very representative of the movies. Take Aliens. Sure enough...lots of aliens. The Terminator does exactly that, again and again and again. And this past weekend, I ran into another that - I hope - rings true: Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Please God...let me forget!
All you married guys out there do the same thing, don't deny it. If you hold the keys to the Netflix queue, you feel the need - hell, the responsibility as a good husband - to try and mix in movies that the wife will enjoy from time to time as a nod to her ever-loving perseverance as they sit by and watch random sci-fi or fantasy movies with us, and even pretend they are enjoying it. It's just those reasons that The Lake House or My Best Friends Wedding exist. They exist to bring harmony to the world. They are the ying to our yang. Well, I had a copy of Forgetting Sarah Marshall show up for just that reason, to try and give balance to the thrillers and action movies that usually dominate my queue.
The movie tells the story of some poor schlep who is dating a hot, successful movie actress which seems, at least on the surface, to be out of his league. A moderately talented musician, this guy eats, sleeps, and shits this girlfriend. Of course, that won't make much of a movie, so she's gotta break up with him. And the inevitable happens - he goes off the deep end. From 10 stories up. In a quest to forget her, he takes a vacation to Hawaii and...wouldn't you believe it...runs into her and her new love interest. Add in a stunning hotel customer service rep who eventually falls for him, and you have your typical "girl dumps boy, boy finds new girl, old girl wants boy back, boy makes good choice" plot. But it's not the rather standard plot or mediocre comedy that really made this movie fall flat for me.
It was the multiple, gratuitous full frontal shots of the dude. The movie starts with one, and ends with one. They bookend the film to a point where I was left with a lingering, sour "I just ate bad shellfish" taste. Ok...a note to all screenwriters, directors, or producers out there: men by and large determine what movie gets watched. Ok? And men don't want to see dick. We don't. Seriously. I'd rather watch the mortifying shooting gallery scene at the prison camp in Schindler's List over and over than see 3 seconds of cock on the movie screen. I'd rather see Paul Sheldon get hobbled 10,000 times in Misery than have my home television bastardized with dong.
Now as you would imagine, as soon as the first phallus hit the screen, my reaction was immediate and over the top, with a "What The Fuck!" loud enough that if my kids were asleep, they weren't afterwards. Of course, that spawned the inevitable from my wife. "Oooooh! It's fine for a woman to get naked in a movie, but GOD FORBID if a guy does!" I suppose her defensive tone also stems from the idea that any cock on a 65" screen makes an average man seem inadequate rather quickly. But I digress. The answer to her rhetorical question is a resounding "Yup, that's right". Women can look at other women and acknowledge the beauty. Men can't do that. We just can't. Let it be.
So anyways...Forgetting Sarah Marshall was, fortunately, forgetful. I lucked out that Pirates of the Caribbean was playing on cable, and Kiera Knightly was able to bleach the mental image of schlong out of my mind quickly enough. But if you're into that sorta of thing, or are looking for a comedy with a few chuckle moments, then by all means go for it. Otherwise, there are many better comedies with far less manhood out there for your viewing pleasure.
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Comments
Submitted by TANK on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 10:28
Submitted by VenomRudman on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 11:08
Submitted by JPNor on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 08:57