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I'm gonna lose it

XSIce

Shared on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 11:16

There are days I just want to run away and never come back.  I work my ass off to be a good mom but it never seems to be enough.  I can't get my daughter to keep her things picked up no matter what I do.  I've tried throwing shit away b/c she doesn't pick it up, but it's like she doesn't care.  I'm afraid that one day I will get so sick of it I will just lose and leave or worse.  It was easier being a single mom with no one to fuck up what I was teaching my kid.  Having only one means her grandparents spoil the shit out of her and since it's Smoke's parents there's not much I can do about it.  I've ask them not to buy her tons of toys and they still do.  She has two rooms in our house a bed room and her own playroom both are filled with toys and shit.  In our living room we have a wall that is just shelves, half of the shelves are for our movies and the other half we let her keep her craft stuff on.  Her half is a mess and her stuff is all over the floor, I've cleaned it up and fixed the shelves over and over again.  I keep picking it all up and asking her to make sure it stays that way, it never seems to stay clean.  She has a Bratz collection that her grandma got her and it was NOT suppose to ever come to my house, but it did and it hasn't made it back to grandmas and she can't seem to keep it picked up out of my livingroom floor...so I would like to throw this $1,000.00+ Bratz collection in the trash, but I'm sure Smoke's mom would just be a bitch about it.  I hate spoiled kids and I wish mine wasn't so spoiled.  I've tried everything I can think of to fix this problem but when I tell her one thing and her grandparents or dad tells her something else it just makes it impossible for me to teach her anything.  Perhaps it's just me, maybe I'm too hard on her but someone has to be.  Any suggestions on how to make her keep her things picked up? 

 

Comments

J-Cat's picture
Submitted by J-Cat on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 11:22
Teach your daughter to give things away to charity. Honestly: tis better to give than to recieve. A person's job when recieving a gift is to accept it graciously, and to say thank you. BUT one's responsability ends there. It is not your job to keep it forver. New rules?? 1. Your daughter is to write grandma a nice thank you note with every gift. 2. You only get a toybox (or two). Once every 4 months you get to organize and give evertyhing that doesn't fit into the toy boxes. Make sure she "gets" that this is a great, great thing that she is doing... that she is helping other kids, and reward her in some non-commercial way. Great idea huh? I am such the hypocrite. My daughter has more crap than I can imagine and she's two. I really gotta start following my own advice.
XSIce's picture
Submitted by XSIce on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 11:28
Great idea, but that would mean taking truck loads to the local charity house. Starting off slow is probably the best way to go with it.
Bad_Santa's picture
Submitted by Bad_Santa on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 11:40
You sound like you need to buck up. It's your house, your kid. Your child has to know that YOU are the boss, not her grandparents, or you are in for a long a bumpy ride. If the grandma wants to bitch about you getting rid of toys, oh well. You lay down the rules, and the consequences. If you tell your kids to pick up their mess and they won't do it, and you don't want to permanently get rid of their things, I'd box it up and put it off limits for a good amount of time.
ATC_1982's picture
Submitted by ATC_1982 on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 11:45
I agree with Bad Santa in this one. Side Note - Your backgroud is like where's waldo as I try to find my self in the back ground.
Devonsangel's picture
Submitted by Devonsangel on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 11:49
Garage Sale! Actually, I agree with Bad Santa, box it up.
DavidLee's picture
Submitted by DavidLee on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 11:49
I'm with Bad Santa. You have to be the parent and the boss. If you throw enough stuff into the trash, eventually everyone involved will get the message. If you let the in-laws run your house, they will.
XSIce's picture
Submitted by XSIce on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 12:04
Thanks everyone! :)
BalekFekete's picture
Submitted by BalekFekete on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 12:05
We do the "one box + 2 shelves" in their basement playroom, with anything that doesn't fit (whether it be because of new stuff coming in, or whatever) going to charity - and it works. I mean really, it does work. You don't have to be the bad person, but you still get to keep a volume of crap level at any point in time. Give it a whirl, and like you said, start slowly. But figure out where your ideal level of crap is, and work towards that.
madwoman's picture
Submitted by madwoman on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 12:13
Box it up...and from now on for every "new" toy/gift she gets she has to get rid of something....
TANK's picture
Submitted by TANK on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 12:17
I say get rid of the problem, drop the kid off at the Orphanage :lol:
TDrag27's picture
Submitted by TDrag27 on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 12:49
Where's Mrs. Meatshield? Nae? She has the best mommy play-book I've ever heard of. Don't pick up your shit? Right in the damn trash. Make them sad that they tried to call your bluff.
ATC_1982's picture
Submitted by ATC_1982 on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 12:56
Well if they don't mind them throwing away the stuff. Take the stuff they really like or make them go play out side with no toys.
Speedbump's picture
Submitted by Speedbump on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 13:22
I say get rid of the problem, drop Smoke off at the Orphanage ;)
VenomRudman's picture
Submitted by VenomRudman on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 15:51
Geez, did you always pick up after yourself when you were that age? And if so, didn't you hate your mom for making you?
Flywalker's picture
Submitted by Flywalker on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 17:37
Two Words :::::: SHOCK COLLAR!!!!!! I promise it will work,,,all you have to do is decide who has to wear it. Your daughter, her grandparents, or smoke. Your choice!!! :)
XSIce's picture
Submitted by XSIce on Mon, 03/30/2009 - 20:23
lmao Flywalker
whytenoise's picture
Submitted by whytenoise on Thu, 04/02/2009 - 13:54
I like the advice of setting a space limit on stuff and before new stuff comes in, old stuff has to go. I just happened upon your blog so I don't know how old your kid is, I have a 5yo and a 3yo, both girls. Right now I am ready to take Tanks advice for the 3yo. At least I don't have the inlaw problem. I detest the entire concept of Bratz, I don't even let the girls look at them. Back to the 3yo, she is starting to act like she doesn't care either when we threaten to throw away her toys. When I do throw them away though she is seriously broken up about it. I came up with an in between solution that I hope will work but hasn't been tested yet. I got a box and wrote the word trash on it and put it prominently up on a high shelf. The next time she doesn't clean up like she is supposed to, the items she didn't pick up go in the "trash". No exceptions. However, the items can be earned back by doing good things. Like cleaning up after herself without being asked. Being polite or nice...really any kind of behavior that I want to reinforce. When she earns one, I offer the box to her and allow her to pick one item back out. Like I said, I just came up with this so it hasn't been tested, but I am crossing my fingers. Good luck with yours!

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