ChetChesterson
Shared on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 15:31Yesterday, during a VERY long day of work (7am – 9pm ish) I’m in the break room at my place of employment, working on making my 5th cup of Java for the day, and I notice on the TV, Sean Hannity talking about commercials on the TV. The commercials of discussion were the various Adult targeted commercials usually reserved for the wee hours of the morning when most of us are regulating the Noob Toobers on COD4 or making Locust Soup in Gears.
Erectile Dysfunction, Penis Enlargement, Menstruation and Feminine Hygiene (my personal favorites), and Birth Control commercials to be exact. The topic of discussion was the hour of the day at which these come on TV. On the TV discussion they were stating that it’s a shame that there is no regulation on these commercials and the time of day they are displayed. They didn’t feel like explaining to Junior what ED is and why Mommy was leaving because of it. I hate to say it, I have to agree. After hearing them spout out their conservative views and hearing similar views from some liberal (sounding) callers, I took it upon myself to try and track, in one evening, the amount of these commercials I saw before 8pm CST.
Having only basic of basic Cable my experiment was limited to only a few channels, 68 to be exact, 3 of which are of a religious nature, 4 of which are of educational nature, 2 are public access, and roughly 5-6 are Latino oriented…so really, only about 53 channels, give or take. During the time period I was watching TV yesterday (two to three hours) I saw several commercials for the above topics. I guess I never really noticed them before. I saw no less than 5 commercials for Extenze, a snake oil and voodoo Penis Enlargement pill (still waiting on my refund you rotten Bastards). I saw 3 commercials for Cialis, a sex drug for the elderly (judging from the ad) a handful for feminine hygiene and periods, and another handful for Birth Control pills.
What the fuck? Prime time TV is littered with Filth…outside of the programming! The programming I understand, it’s a show, and something you chose to watch and are aware of the content. Filthy shows are on certain channels at certain times so if you have Kiddos, you can ask them to go do something for an hour while mommy and daddy watch Nip Tuck. Understandable, that’s how it should be. But with these commercials, you have no choice. They are on at ALL hours of the day. There is no escape. Watch the news? Be prepared to learn about Bob and his miniscule junk and how he has a swelling of pride now. Do you like to watch those afternoon sitcoms set to Rerun Limbo? Hope you enjoy commercials about how a woman can now have 4 periods a year (blech) instead of 12 (triple blech). Enjoy watching any Prime Time TV show with your kids? Be prepared for them to have to see any of the above mentioned products.
Now, I have no off spring, no children to do my bidding of fetching more beer and mowing my lawn. However, I feel very sorry for the friends of mine that do. One of my poor friends has a little 4 year old girl who is just starting to ask the “why” questions. She is curious by nature and smart as a tack. He’s only a few years (maybe months) from having to explain (before either him or her are ready) what ED is and why the old people look so happy. Another friend of mine has two twin 4 year old boys; soon, VERY soon, he will be forced to teach the horrifying truths about the female body against his will. I do not envy these people. Could you imagine having the following conversation with your daughter…your daughter…?
Daughter: “Daddy, what is Extenze? What’s it for? What’s it do?”
Father: “ummm…. It’s a medicine for Daddies, baby.”
Daughter: “for sick Daddies…daddy?”
Father: “not really, it’s just something for…umm….Did you hear that?”
Daughter: “what?”
Father: “Oh never mind, HEY want to have a Tea Party?”
Daughter: “but what about the medicines, Daddy?
Father: “YAY Tea Party, come on darling.”
Daughter: “HEY that bottle looks like the medicines you have, Daddy”
Father: *sigh*
Yeah…not much fun. So, wherein lies the issue? Does it lie with the viewer? Does it lie with the Network or the advertisers? With a show you can choose not to watch it, or even choose not to watch that channel because of their filthy drivel (looking at you FX). But with commercials, they are on all the damn time, on every damn channel, there is no escape. TV Shows are forced to have a warring label, a disclaimer at the beginning of each show. TVY7 and MA and TV14 and other such nonsense. So should commercials be forced to have the same thing? Thank your diety of choice that the Girls Gone Wild commercials carry these. Is this something we will see in the future?
“WARNING: The following commercial talks openly about tiny penises and how your tiny penis affects those around you. Viewer Discretion is advised”
You bet your tiny penis we will. Especially after the Family Values people and the Christians get a hold of this….if they watched TV.
Herein lies the original question. Should these commercials be limited to a certain time of day to be played? Should it be up to the network to regulate this sort of thing…and even...god forbid, should it be up to the government?
I don’t know about you all, but my Children, once they arrive…via UPS…from China…will never watch TV. We will read, and play games, and have picnics and Tea Parties. We will not watch the abomination known as television. Maybe once they are older, but certainly not when they are little. No fucking way am I talking to my 6 year old about ED, periods, or Penis Enlargement. That’s what school buses, lunch rooms, and playgrounds are for…Right?
Perhaps the networks will stop seeing Dollar Signs and realize they are causing our children to grow up much faster than they should be. But…then again…perhaps they won’t.
Cheers, and have a great fucking day
Chet Chesterson
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Comments
Submitted by DragoonTamer on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 15:46
Submitted by ChetChesterson on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 16:00
Submitted by BasBleu on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 16:05
Submitted by ChetChesterson on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 16:36
Submitted by Imissthecommodore64 on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 21:18
Submitted by FadeIntoBlack on Wed, 05/13/2009 - 22:32
Submitted by J-Cat on Thu, 06/18/2009 - 20:37