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Am I a bit of a Jackass?

J-Cat

Shared on Wed, 06/17/2009 - 17:10

Today I said to my daughter, "we have to change you out of your swim diaper. We do not want you to get a Vag Infection." Why?  Just so that I could hear her say "NO you do not want Mommy to say "Vag Infection." or "You do not want a Vag Infection." I couldn't help but laugh when she did it multiple times in a row.

Erica is doing okay... she may have an earache (hear ear hurts a bit, she claims a bee stung it.) Today a meltdown at daycare and one on the way out of daycare, but other than that: we are doing A-Okay.

One thing I have noticed about her. While she is a sweet and adorable little girl, she is almost the opposite of me, for I married and decided to have children with my exact opposite. I am an extrovert, my husband an introvert. I rush into things, my man is reserved. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and... well... it's been over 15 years and I still can't figure out what he is feeling sometimes. Erica is a little version of my husband, and I love the two of them to bits, it's sometimes a bit hard to relate to them. Erica will watch kids play instead of playing with them. If there is a group, she is literally on the outside looking in. She is happy... but to my eyes, it's different... unusual. Alien? Seems odd to classify your flesh and blood that way, but there it is. She is two and a half, I have to learn how to adapt to her needs, not the other way around.

Now, my husband shows me he loves me in different ways, and I know that Erica will do the same as him.  I have learned not to assume that my perceptions on how he is feeling is correct (the if-I'm-mad-I-will-tell-you school of relationships).  He has learned that I need to hear how he feels more often.  Now that Erica is starting toddlerhood, I reminded him that I may not be any more frustrated than him, but I need to articulate it more than he does. And so I may seem like I am more upset than I am. Nothing in my relationships are bad, it's just very weird when you live with your opposite. So much love in my life, so much to learn from the two of them.

What about you? Do you have a relationship with your opposite? H ow are you different, and how did you learn to work together?

Comments

MikeJames's picture
Submitted by MikeJames on Wed, 06/17/2009 - 18:45
We'll talk at the lan. lol Too much to type here. :)
Nomad18's picture
Submitted by Nomad18 on Wed, 06/17/2009 - 18:53
My wife and I sound very similar to you and your husband. I'm an introvert as well and my wife is always asking me to be more detailed about how I feel when I'm mad or upset. We've talked about our differences a lot and I try to make a conscience effort of letting her know how I feel. I think the thing that helps us the most is just sitting down and talking. We have both changed the way we look at things by putting ourselves in the other ones shoes.
Biznass's picture
Submitted by Biznass on Wed, 06/17/2009 - 21:35
Same as Nomad. My wife has a bubbly personality and I'm more reserved. It's odd how it all just works. The kids are the same way, my son is like me and my daughter is like her. Does it cause drama, sure, but I'd have it no other way. Communication and just letting some things slide seem to work.
pearly_54's picture
Submitted by pearly_54 on Thu, 06/18/2009 - 05:58
Um, yeh, I am married to my opposite, altho it is more extreme than with you and sean. Separated, but still married. You are very lucky that your opposite works for you.
Snuphy's picture
Submitted by Snuphy on Thu, 06/18/2009 - 11:47
Philosophically, my wife and I are virtually identical. Our core values are the same. We also have very similar tastes in almost everything. But in the emotional, social, and personality departments, we are complete opposites. Some of your descriptions work for us as well. My wife rushes into things, I do not. My wife wears her heart on her sleeve, mine is in a locked in a box in a closet in the basement. She is very verbal, I am very physical. I am very observant, she can be oblivious to her surroundings. She is actually the introvert. I’m not a full blown extravert, but I love to be social. Our wide differences complement each other to provide us balance as a couple. Sometimes that balance takes a crap ton of work to maintain, but combined with a solid core foundation, it works really well for us. We’ve been together almost 24 years, married almost 13. Both of our first two girls also did the play watching thing. The first was shy and insecure with groups of kids, so she’d just watch other kids play instead of playing. She outgrew it. She is now a confident 9 year old who performs ballet several times a year in front of up to 600 people. The second is a little shy, but not insecure. Or at least not insecure in the same way. She’s comfortable and confident with other kids. She just likes to make sure she understands everything about what’s being played before she’s willing to partake. Sometimes that takes a few minutes, sometimes that takes several play sessions. Once she’s figured out whatever the heck it is she needs to figure out, she jumps in with gusto.

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