I hate Shark Week

Shark Week is the reason I can't go into water deeper than my navel unless I see a fatter person near me that's further out.  Fuck you, Shark Week. Shark Week has informed me that the majority of Shark attacks occur near Daytona Beach.  That's the beach I frequent.  I've seen dolphins there.  Their fins pop in and out of the water rather quickly.  But any fin that I see that pops out of the water makes me soil my britches thanks to Shark Week.