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Glitchers are teh suck!!!1!!!

ChetChesterson

Shared on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 13:59

I might win an award for the most F-Bombs dropped in a blog or most potty language used in one sentence, but you know what, I don't fucking care, I've had it, and I'm very frustrated.

 
After a few mediocre rounds of COD4 and Gears last night and the night before, I have come to a conclusion. A conclusion that makes me irritated with both players and developers. I'm irritated because I sit down to enjoy playing these two games and have to put up with ri'tarded tweens and Ass-Hat geeks who Glitch in order to gain XP and the win. If you are a glitcher, I kindly ask that you....wait, kindly? No fuck that, I demand you stop reading my words right the fuck now, unplug your computer, and throw it out the window. Matter of fact, you ass pounding little shits, unplug your Xbox and take a big ol steaming dump in the drive tray. That is pretty much what you are doing to my gaming experience every time I encounter one of you. I work very hard and have a busy life style. My time to play anything is valued and well deserved. What I don't deserve is having to put up with people using Lag Switches or any of the other bullshit glitches that exist in these two games. You should have your testicles (or ovaries if that fits the bill) removed, ground up, spread wafer thin on some toast and served for breakfast at an old-folks home. Not to be a person who threatens others in a virtual environment, I will say this...You only get away with it because no one can physically reach out and show you their fist to face style.
 
 
Game developers, how about a little more effort in trying to stop this bullshit from the get fucking go? Huh? I'm serious, is it that hard? SURELY you can find some snot nosed Timmie to try and break your game PRIOR to you releasing it. Maybe these fuckers work a little harder on being able to climb the walls and stand on a fucking pixel that renders them invincible to ALL gun fire? Huh? How bout it?
 
Since these two experiences, I have made a decision. I will no longer let this slide. I will report every motherfucker I catch ruining my gaming or anyone else's gaming for that matter. It has gotten so bad recently, that I have had nights where I lasted a mere 5 minutes before throwing my controller down and shutting off the box. That's right; Glitchers have driven me to becoming a TV watcher. I fucking HATE watching TV almost...and this is a close almost...as much as I hate going to Game Stop (another subject for another day). One of the clan members in my group posed a question to ask a Timmie (a glitching dumb fuck teenager who cheats constantly). His question was simply "why?” Everything from Modded Controllers to lag switches...It just absolutely ruins the game for those of us who are just trying to have fun and kill a few hours before going to bed. I'm sure some of them think it is fun and I'm sure to some of them...this is their game.
 
 
If that's going to be the case...you fucks...don't you have a pop up window you could be creating or a computer virus you could be writing? I'd rather you do that, at least then I have some manner of defense against you. Funny story...A friend of mine and I were at a bar back in college...my buddy starts up a casual conversation with the guy next to us...at some point this little asshole makes the statement that he writes computer viruses and sends them out all of the time...he follows this with a very proud laugh. My friend turns and sets his drink down and knocks the kid out with one punch. When the bouncers came over they asked what had happened and my friend told them what the kid had said and the bouncers picked the kid up and carried him outside and laid him in the grass. See, people like that only act that way because there is no recourse...unless caught...if they get caught I think they deserve exactly what they get. Microsoft needs to develop a form of security something for detecting and destroying Glitchers. Of course, I'm not adept enough with computing to understand the logistics of how that could possibly work, but we sure as shit need it! To make it even worse, there are glitching clans and entire communities who support this behavior. http://www.glitcher.net. I would recommend looking up some of these clans if only to gather a list of names to avoid and or report.
 
How can we combat them? Do we send them hate mail? Envelopes full of arsenic? Do we report everyone we think is glitching? The latter is a possibility but we all know the games alone are capable of doing some crazy shit, so I suggest knowledge as an alternative. Knowledge of what a glitch looks like. Knowledge of what Lag Switching looks like. Do your homework; understand how these tricks can be accomplished. For example, I did a little research on some Glitches for COD4 and now...at the start of certain maps...I run for those spots and do my best to kill anyone trying to access them or complete the set ups for their glitching bullshit. I'm very tired of having my night ruined, my precious gaming time ruined, and being forced into lower levels by people who certainly didn't ear the points they display.
 
 
I suggest we out these cheaters, I'm sure you are familiar with this, many a forum have taken similar steps. Write down those who you think are doing the dastardly unholy act of glitching, share their names, and if need be report them for being a pederass to Microsoft. Why on the grounds of being a pedophile? Because obviously Microsoft and Xbox live don't give a shit about cheaters...but they HAVE to do something about perverts. The longer these little douches go un-checked the more of it you will see. And as far as this gamer is concerned...One is too many.
 
Cheers and have a great fucking day,
 
Chet Chesterson
 

Comments

ChetChesterson's picture
Submitted by ChetChesterson on Mon, 08/10/2009 - 10:10
First off, How dare you bring Alcohol into this...it's not...wait...its NEVER Alcohol's fault. :) Getting unlimited lives on Mario bros. or Contra or whatever didn't do anything except allow people to play the game and have more fun doing it. That's all hunky dory, sure I'll own up, I cheat my face off on Marvel Ultimate Alliance. It's fun to have every character, costume, power-up, what ever...that's for me and my enjoyment and has no sway on anyone else. Where I have a problem is when people use these glitches to progress at the cost of other's enjoyment and the expense of their well earned XP. We could argue this all day long. Glitch and fall through secret sections of the map all you want. If that's how you roll, that's how you roll. You and I have beef when you start costing me points or make me waste my valuable gaming time. When you start shooting me from the secret part under the map, then I will kindly report your ass to anyone who will listen. Sound like a deal? A gun is a fun thing to have, you can put holes in stuff, use it to open your beer, turn off the TV, perforate trees... all manner of fun things to do. The moment that instrument is used to harm or hinder someone else, then it is Evil. Glitches can be viewed the same. All fun and games so long as no one gets their eye put out. p.s. Your battle of Semantics over the word Glitcher is tiresome. No Offense, but you're missing the point. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=glitcher Yes it's slang, so are half of the words I used in the article. You and I can argue the evils and merits of Glitching and why and when, that's fine, but a battle of Semantics is beneath both of us and you know it.
ChetChesterson's picture
Submitted by ChetChesterson on Wed, 08/12/2009 - 12:17
perhaps you should join in on the fight against them as well. Like a master disciplining his student for using the teachings unjustly?
MikeTheKnife's picture
Submitted by MikeTheKnife on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 14:11
This might make my top 5 favorite blogs ever. Needs more 'fuck' though.
ChetChesterson's picture
Submitted by ChetChesterson on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 14:13
LOL, well...fuck...Thanks. cheers, man.
TheBookNerd's picture
Submitted by TheBookNerd on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 14:34
I am very aroused. But I digress... Yes, glitchers/cheaters/hackers/Timmies do suck. But until a gamer or system is created that they cannot infiltrate, they will continue to plague us, I'm afraid.
Criamond's picture
Submitted by Criamond on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 14:51
I think the key is finding a game that is too complicated or boring for them. I am convinced this is why people still play Chromehounds.
corbin_dallas's picture
Submitted by corbin_dallas on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 16:44
They(M$, PSN, devs etc...) need to figure out a way to dicscover these sheaters and make the consequences so bad that it deters such asshattery. I know that's a tall order but I dunno what else to say. Supposedly IW has a patch in certifiaction testing for many of these current glitches. My question to timmah is what satisfaction do you get out of being a cheater? Doesn't it get boring? Yay I got the top kills ...again...and no deaths...again....because I cheated....again and I apparently have no real skills or life....sigh
Mighty514's picture
Submitted by Mighty514 on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 18:38
Cheers Chet... I turn everyone i encounter in as well... I have no idea if they are losing their GT, but at least it makes me feel better when I punch in the complaint.
Handy's picture
Submitted by Handy on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 18:38
Thats A Fucking 11 out of 10..... Man Point on my Friend..... Man I feel alot better.... now lol
TANK's picture
Submitted by TANK on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 20:20
The only way to resolve the lag switch problem is to play games that use dedicated servers, not peer to peer connections.
GlitchKing's picture
Submitted by GlitchKing on Thu, 08/06/2009 - 20:24
Hey, I'm the webmaster over at glitcher.net. Glitcher's are not here to destroy anyone's video game experience. Were only doing stuff to bring extra excitement to the game. A glitcher is not an actual word, in fact, I own the TM for the word glitcher so basically it comes down to what I say a glitcher really is, no offense. Someone who glitches to gain an advantage is simply a cheater, nothing else. A real glitcher is someone whom enjoys getting together with friends and having a nice little ride with the game. Doing stuff like getting far outside the maps and exploring how the game was created, floating to the top of any gears of war map only to land atop the highest building. Or who would have ever dreamed of being able to do a kung fu backflip in gears of war? Take a look at it from our side of the fence. We have a lot of people abusing our content and making us look bad. You ask, why not just not give tutorials? Well it's not that simple, we only share the content to give the members a fun experience. Our TOS upon registering even states, "Do you agree to not abuse any content found within glitcher.net for the sake of cheating or to gain an advantage". We actually do hold back the true potential of glitches that could ruin a game, for example watch the video below please. That is not used with mods or lag switches. Just good ole glitching with friends. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEQd39YM6lk or even watch the intro video at glitcher.net, we draw a penis with boomshields high above the map, kickass? Any response to this feel free to contact me at glitchking@glitcher.net Regards, GlitchKing
ChetChesterson's picture
Submitted by ChetChesterson on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 09:23
fair enough dude, but remember everyone and anyone can justify whatever it is that they are doing that pisses people off. Whatever the case may be, to me glitching is cheating and when it's used to unjustly increase a player's rank, status, or standings...it's cheating. Making a penis with whatever doesn't get you a higher level so go on Brudda, make all the penises you want to....when they start killing me and costing me experience you and I will have beef. If only all glitchers (thanks for the grammar slap but i will continue to use my non word just as you all continue to use your non-tactics) were as fair and just as yourself. If only they used the back-flip for exploration instead of using it to get behind the whatever and rack up a bunch of kills. If only, right? But that's not realistic. Whatever justification you think you have, you are most certainly welcomed to. As for me, I will continue to hate glitching, cheaters and all manner of mutherfuckers who ruin my gaming experience. I thank you for your input and for your attempt to use these powers fairly. Be careful of finding absolute power over the games you play, because absolute power corrupts absolutely...whether it's you or someone on your site. Again, thank you for your input but I will continue to fight my fight so long as there are penis shields in the air. P.S. So i'm in Trademark infringement for using your word incorrectly? I beleive that me adding the "er" to the word is to denote the type of person who uses glitches. like someone who runs is a runner, someone who cheats is a cheater...therefore someone who glitches is a glitcher. Besides, your definition is probably some hack of teh english language, some random and rare page you managed to backflip onto in teh dictionary...and probably one you and your friends will soon make a penis out of. ;)
GlitchKing's picture
Submitted by GlitchKing on Fri, 08/07/2009 - 19:07
HAHA, not a copyright infringement to say it. The good ole' english and american dictionary (any dictionary for that) has yet to give the term of what a glitcher is. For now its' basically used as slang. My point being I can take the term glitcher and make it mean "someone whom likes snowcones" for the joke of just doing it, all im saying. Glitcher's where given a bad name when online experiences became possible. What happended before that? Well noone really cared because getting unlimited lives on Super Mario World isn't really going to do any harm, is it? I've been glitching now for literally 16 years. Think of it as alcohol. Alcohol is available 24/7. You can choose to drink or not to drink. You can also choose to take it to the extremes (glitch to cheat) and get totally blasted abusing it and kill someone. Now you have the option to choose whether to abuse or use in a responsible manner. Confusing I know, lol. As for the "er" suffix (or prefix, hell I forgot). It means someone that does something. You take the term "Glitch" which means a bug, error, or failure. So in reality, from that description, a glitcher is someone who bugs, someone who freezes, someone who fails. lol, imma shut the fuck up now. See-ya
GlitchKing's picture
Submitted by GlitchKing on Tue, 08/11/2009 - 00:44
LOL!! I got ya... But all I ask.. The term glitcher used to be a good term, no one cared back then if you were a glitcher. It's the fucking dickheads that take glitches and abuses them that gave us a bad name. All I ask is that the video game community recognize those people as nothing more than just online cheaters and not as glitcher's. A true glitcher doesn't glitch just to gain an advantage, they glitch because it gives them something cool and new to do in a game that isn't possible in normal gameplay. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Just to throw this out there. In essence, all gamers are cheater's in a glitching sort of way. OH NO HE DIDN'T, WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?? Well it means all gamer's use some form of a glitch to gain an advantage! Don't think for one second those pesky little wall shooter's don't glitch to hit you without making themselves vunerable. Ever corner sniped before, on most games you can get in the corner just right and actually shoot through the corner. Or how about when your the host and your connection slows down or corrupts, your actually forcing the other players into a glitch by making them lag and do things not meant by the game. I could go on and on.. Don't wanna argue about it, just want to get the term glitcher back to what it's meant to be and has been for some time until these fucking lame ass bitches made it into something it's not meant for. Heh, =).

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