Rude stupid people don't read my blogs (Pregnancy assholes)

So I blogged about this once before, but maybe I was too general. I blogged about nosy people asking you why you aren't... (fill in the blank here: Married, settled down, got a decnet job, out of debt, having kids etc) yet. I hate that question. It's nasty, nosy and it assumes that the askee actually wants whatever the question is about.

Now... since the entire world doesn't read my blog: I will have to be more specific.

People. Stop. Asking. Women. If. They. Are. Pregnant.

Now I can take a joke, in fact in a recent blog about my vertigo, a clan mate teased me... I must be knocked up. That's a joke (and maybe, possibly, a gentle hint to get checked out: very kind) and I get jokes. That isn't what I am talking about. I am talking about people straight up, asking you: Are you pregnant?

No good can ever come out of the question: Are you pregnant? There can be only two truths: a woman is either pregnant or not pregnant.

First: if they are pregnant and they didn't tell you, it's for a reason. It could be simple and uncomplicated: maybe they don't know yet. Maybe they have a "thing" planned for the announcement, or they don't want to tell anyone until they tell close family members. Maybe, possibly they don't like you and don't want to tell you. Instead, by asking, you may force someone's hand and you steal their thunder. And trust me, the type of person who will ask you straight up is you are pregnant is also the type of person who will announce it loudly to everyone within ear's reach.

But maybe it's more complicated: maybe they are awaiting genetic screening to share the news, because there is reason for them to worry. Maybe they have a history of miscarriage, or they have had bleeding (it happens... often. I've been pregnant twice and have one kid... where is the other?) Perhaps they are actually considering an abortion (remember that genetic screening I mentioned? Abortions happen for many many reasons, just just for an unwanted pregnancy). Other reasons are more practical: discrimination against woman, and especially pregnant women in the workforce is out there. Yes, there are laws... but it still happens.

So if the woman is pregnant, it's a shitty thing to ask. What if the are not pregnant and you ask. Okay... what? I'm gaining weight? Wha? Where did this even come from? And trust me, if you are trying to have kids, and you are not pregnant... those questions hurt. Getting pregnant is not as easy as they told us in high school. Staying pregnant isn't easy either. So again... the only "good" thing that comes out of asking is you own personal curiousity is sated. Congratu-fuck-ulations. You are an asshole and you feel good about your own world.

The point is: pregnancy is big news. It's on a need to know basis... and you don't need to know.

The lesser question "Are you trying to have another?" Is almost even crazier. What... you want to know if I am fucking? how is this your business? It also sets a unspoken timetable (hmmm... a year ago she said she was trying, and she isn't pregnant yet... I wonder what is wrong?)

what pisses me off is that I never EVER hear these questions from men, only from women. Women (especially women with kids) should know better. My husband says that he will only ask a woman if she is pregnant if there is a baby coming out her vag. I like that policy.

So, in conclusion: I gently told off my coworker who loudly announced that a fellow coworker was pregnant after cornering her and asking if she was pregnant on the phone. Yes... I am feeling bitchy, and no: it's not cause I am knocked up.

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Cause people also like flakiness. Yesterday was my anniversary. We went out for an amazing dinner. I have a new bright orange handbag. Batman Arkham Asylum is out today. i am actually in a very happy place, no matter what the above blog may lead you to believe.