It was a good conversation.

A friend of mine and I had a very interesting conversation yesterday about immersion in video games...and how you can become emotionally invested in the characters. He regaled about several RPGs he had played in the past that touched him emotionally. I sadly up to this point in my gaming career have yet to be touched by a gaming experience. Now I've been gaming since I was 5 or 6 years old....I'm getting close to 30 now.

He found that very odd given how many games I've played through the years. But I think we figured out why. I don't put myself into the characters shoes. I treat the story and gameplay as 2 completely separate entities. To me...I play a game for 15-20 minutes, watch a cutscene, play another 15-20 minutes. etc...

Lets take Halo for example. Story-wise, Master Chief is the last of the cyborg-enhanced spartan super soldiers, trying to save humanity from a race of religious nut aliens called the covenant. Humanity is on the brink of extinction. Its up to you to save your race. Deep stuff right? So I should feel urgency in every battle, relief with every conquest, and by the end of the 3rd game...happy about humanity being saved, but sad because of Master Chiefs sacrifice.

I do not.

Yet...I can watch Saving Private Ryan right now and by the end of the movie....I'll have a tear in my  eye by the final scene when Ryan falls to his knees infront of the grave, his wife joins his side and he says to her "Tell me I've had a good life....tell me I was a good man."

Just thinking about it gives me the shivers.

I have never had this type of emotional response to a video game. Do I blame the developers? No. I know this is on me. How do I know? Well let me explain.

My friend asked me "So do you feel the same kind of emotional impact in your every day life like you do when you watch Private Ryan? And I don' t mean deaths in the family or tragedies....just in every day life."

Nope. The only emotions I can really pinpoint that I experience often are anger and frustration. With the job....life....just overall.

Then it hit me. 

Thats why I project onto the characters I play as in the games. And thats what I get back.

To put it simply....I'm aggravated by the fact that Princess Peach has been kidnapped yet again...so I have to cancel all my plans and fucking save her dumb ass again. And thats really how I feel throughout the game.

So having short-changed myself all these years out of some great emotional roller-coaster rides in these games.....I am going to have to start playing games with a different mindset. Truly escape from the aggravations and angers of daily life and truly put myself in the shoes of the characters.

It will be difficult...because I've been so disconnected up to this point. But I think if I don't.....I will eventually get bored with gaming all together and possibly give it up. It has to be more than just the gameplay....or getting from point A to point B....or unlocking that achievement. I need to truly experience these games...not just play them.

I think Mass Effect will be my first test.

With all this in mind, I ask you all out there in 2old2play land. Has there ever been a video game that has made an emotional impact on you? If so...what game? I'd like to know.

- Gats