I've created a monster...

I've created a monster, an 8 pound, furry little awesome monster.  My Fiancé's dog is smart as a whip.  Recently, we have been putting her through the second round of trick school.  This time mainly focusing on Obstacle courses and going where we tell her to go.  She also learned a few peanut gallery tricks along the way such as speak, bow, spin, high five, low five, and crawl.  She has also become quite adept at jumping onto things that would normally seem out of her reach.  The dog sits about 12" to 15" tall but can easily get her hind legs 36" to 40" in the air.

Having a dog that knows all of these tricks is pretty cool...you get to play with the dog while making it smarter.  It does really funny things in front of company and is actually a great little dog...Except that now that she knows how to do these things, she does some of them ALL of the time.  Now that she knows "Speak" and how to properly make noise like a real dog...she vocalizes all of the time now.  Where as before it was this cute little puppy growl / "ruff".  Now its a full on yappy bark...and for an 8 pound dog, she is pretty loud...not pitchy like other small dogs, just straight up loud. 

In addition to being more of a talker now...thanks to me teaching her speak....She is now quite the jumper and climber, because she is more adept at jumping up onto things on the obstacle course, she now has made everything in the house a potential perch for laziness.  Top of the couch, coffee table, fiancé's bed, my lap, pretty much anything under the height of 40" she can and will jump onto.  Thank god she isn't a destructive dog, otherwise I would have already had to buy the woman a new couch.  The dog has a unique habit of jumping into my lap right after we've taken her for a walk.  Which is funny at the same time as it is annoying.  Funny because she is still getting used to her newly discovered powers, and actually gets surprised for a second when she over jumps my lap and hovers in the air for a second before landing.  However it's annoying because this usually means her feet are wet or dirty and therefore I get wet and or dirty.  This also goes for the bed, chairs, ottoman, pretty much anything under the height of 40".

This has me concerend...I'll be getting married soonish and god willing starting a family.  Do I need to worry about this when I have children?  Will my well intentioned teaching to my son what happens when you mix baking soda and vinegar result in the demise of my unattached two car garage?  Will I need to worry about him deciding to build in set shelves in his room as a result of me teaching him how to use a hammer?  This is a new line of thinking for me.  I guess, growing up, I never thought about all of the bad things I have done as a result of some innocent piece of knowledge.  For instance...My dad once showed me that you can set aerosol Hair spray on fire and use it to kill spiders.  Of course only he was allowed to do this in the house, but it was still cool to watch and cheer him on and make fun of the spiders together.  But later on, I got in some bigger better trouble when I discovered the joys of a potato gun and what you can do with a can of right guard and $20 worth of PVC.  Again, something to think about.  Can it all be traced back thusly? 

Needless to say, that now when ever I start to teach this dog a new trick....I weigh out whether or not this will cause me to have to replace something I can't.  And whether or not she can use this against me...like she does with the crawl when she doesn't want to go into her cage and gets under the bed.  I've got some time to practice I guess...the woman and I are years away from me having to worry about booby traps set up by my 6 year old because he doesn't want to go to his Aunt's house..

Cheers everyone and have a great fucking day,

Chet Chesterson