There is the Easy Way…..And Then There is My Way

Before work this morning, I went to do my most important civic duty……vote. For the average person, this is one of the easiest things to do. Apparently, like the confused individuals from Florida, I’m not one of those average people. First, I should have known that this was going to be an ordeal when the power went out while my husband and I were standing in line. So we get up to the table and first off, my husband is the only person on the sign in page that MUST show ID. This is not the first time that he has voted at this spot, and nobody else so far has had to show ID. I’m cracking up at this point and making jokes about all the watch lists he is probably on………and then it is my turn.

Since I have the same last name as my husband, it is safe to assume that my name would be close, if not next, to his in the registry…….NOPE. In fact, my name isn’t there at all. I’d like to note here that I have voted at this location for the past four years and NEVER had a problem. By this point, my husband has finished voting and is waiting for me at the exit just shaking his head.

The guy in charge to the polling location takes my ID and calls the voter registry people. By this point, I have already been taken aside and told to have a seat while the long line behind me is staring at me with curious and hopeful expressions that they are going to witness some voting criminal getting caught and arrested. Because the guy is on a cell phone with the voter registry people, he is able to stand out in the open and read off my name and birth date from my ID. I wanted to tell the guy “Why don’t you just tell everybody my license number…..or better yet my weight while you are at it?” It turns out eventually that I am in fact registered at this polling site, but instead of under the actual spelling of Hepler, I am listed as Helper. Yet another time that I wish I stuck with my maiden name. So, as if I haven’t been humiliated enough by this point, the guy proceeds to “cut” me back in line in front of about 50 people…..hence more looks, but now angry instead of curious.

So I finish voting and just about run out of the place with my husband chuckling behind me. The only thing my “loving” husband has to say to me is “Wow, the next time there’s a thunderstorm, I won’t be standing anywhere near you.”