A movie review and praise for technology

Firstly...I fucking LOVE Bluray...or is it Blu-Ray.....  I didn't think it would be all that different, but MAN was I wrong!  The lady and I were gifted one for Christmas...and hot shit is it nice.
 

We watched a handful of movies over the weekend.  Shrek Forever (or whatever it's called...Shrek 4), Despicable Me, Predators, and the A-team

The A-team I had seen already, in the theater.  and as you read further, you might say "excuse me Mr. Chesterson...why aren't you debunking the A-team also?"  And normally I would be asking this same question...but Come on...have you seen it?  That movie is a lot of Fun and a not too insulting revamp of the old show.   Sniffles..."I miss you George Pepard!!!"

Predators was not good.  It was definitely interesting to see them switch up the plot a little, however I HATE HATE HATE when they throw science out the window when making a Sci-Fi movie.  If I didn't know jack about anything, I might have enjoyed it more, but since I know very little about a lot of things, I was frustrated with it.

SPOILER ALERT

1.  How much of a coincidence is it that every creature breathes the same air?  Even on planet Earth there are multiple different atmosphere types.  The air content ranges from one geographic location to the next.  So...when our Heroes from Where the fuck ever spend half the Movie (two days movie time) running around they are able to do so without running out of breath, or getting dizzy, or dying from asphyxiation?  Take any athlete from any American city and dump them in say...Kenya, where the altitude is higher and the air thinner and see how well they do.  There are also other creatures in the movie that are being hunted...they breath a mixture of Oxygen and Nitrogen...on their home planet...at the same mixture that a human does...or a predator does?  ***cough*** bullshit!

2.  The gravity on this planet is equal to Earth's?  More importantly...the gravity on the home worlds of these other creatures is the same as Earth's?  I only got a B in my probability class, but my math says that the odds of that are VERY thin...even in the terms of the vastness of space.  To equate this to our reality...These odds are equivalent to getting struck by lightening twice, on St. Patrick's day, while getting a blumpkin from Megan Fox while you eat an unfrosted Strawberry Pop-Tart.  So if it's less, why not address this, same for more...the characters are all relatively smart.  It would be a simple solve..."oh my legs ache...must be the change in gravity."  Done, my inner dork is satisfied.  However, there is a scene in the movie where the heroes stumble up to a higher vantage point and can get a good long look at the horizon.  One bearing a Viewable planet or 3, and what appears to be a dying star.  I'm not Carl Sagan, but I do know that any object of significant mass pulls and tugs on others of greater or lesser mass.  For instance, if you took our Moon away (or added two more) we'd be fucked...proper fucked...by Mother Nature after a long meth bender.  There'd be no oceans, tidal waves would circle the earth at a random intervals making life on this planet (as we know it) damn near impos...fuck it...totaly impossible.

3.  Airborne microbes only exist on our planet?  The common cold can be transfered on so much as a soft breeze.  Our immune systems allow us to get only a little sick because we have built up internal defenses for it.  So if you stuck a normal human into an environment in which they haven't been before (pending the air and gravity are the same...fuck you Hollywood) the slightest bacteria or microbial organism would kill us pretty quick...or at the very least incapacitate us enough not to be able to fight off a gargantuan Alien bent on taking our spines for his living room wall.

4.  Sunburns?!?  Like Cosmic melt your fucking skin off sunburns?!?  We don't cook the moment we walk outside because the Earth's magnetic field blocks the Sun's most dangerous rays from killing us.  so pending that this planet has all of the same things in common with the planet's of every other creature in the flick, than we should be fine....Right?  (shakes fist "Fuuuuck you Hollywood")  there is also a scene where Adrian Brodie notices that "the sun hasn't moved since they got there".  So how the fuck does it get dark for the big slug-fest at the end?!?  Does head Predator Honcho fly up and flip the switch?  

I could go on here, but this is where I stop...Obviously I missed the fun of this movie...which, had I no working knowledge (thanks Discovery Channel) of Couch Potato Science, I would have otherwise enjoyed.  I won't even touch the usual adventure gore movie cliché's like the black fella dying in the first 25 minutes, or that the ONLY Asian fucker in the movie is the one who happens to stumble across a samurai sword.  Or how there is this sudden (and oh so pointless) plot twist at the end where Foreman goes all Ted Bundy and reveals his true nature.

The Hoss predator was a nice touch...but seriously Hollywood...stop introducing new ones.  Can we just have a Predator movie next time...A good old fashioned one...with a couple of governors, maybe some Gary Busey, some jungle, and ZERO plot twists!?

I will say that there were some good throw backs to the original.  There is a chain gun...the predators use their voice recording ability to fuck with the prey, and there is one scene of a spine getting removed by alien hands.  so, in some regard i was happy.

So if you can manage to lock up your rational mind for 93 minutes...i recommend this movie...otherwise...wait for it to come out on FX in a week or two.


BluRay rules, Chet Chesterson signing off.