Odds are you'll end up here, this end up of course

Linoleum Finish was a Nordic descendant of the great Bjorn Nasvustrum also known as the flooring king of the north, his empire stretched from Moscow to Paris with nearly a hundred showrooms between the two.  It was a formidable empire that Mr. Finish had no interest in, his interest was in fighting crime.  His tried and true Peruvian sidekick Blind Spot, master in the ancient Incan art of Joint and Bone cracking, was also his only true friend in life.  They were inseparable and did everything together, be it catching the seedy underbelly of the theater or cracking heads of shrimp in their favorite restaurant or maybe killing off a hangover in the morning they shared the moment.  Both were androgynous and had a plutonic bond no man or woman could destroy.  Yes, they were married but only for the contractual advantages, they also were each other’s power of attorney and spiritual confidant.  Their crime fighting vehicle was a metallic powder blue Audi named B Flat Minor.  Their weapon of choice was harsh words and wit backed up with flamethrowers and hand grenades.  Their motto: “Walk softly and carry a giant flaming stick.”  Their favorite drink: Grolsch.

 

Their arch enemy Lip Balm the bane of the cosmetic industry had ransacked the capitalistic markets by cornering the red dye number 4 market making it nearly impossible to make the most popular shade of rouge in Paris.  Her sadistic tendency towards sporadic use of purples and blues on the palette of the face made her known as the kamikaze of theater makeup artists and nearly derailed early productions of Cats and Cirque du Soleil.  Her army of misfit mime theater artists known solely as the Silent Army of Shadows is not only reckless but mute when it comes to humanity and causing collateral damage.

 

It is an epic battle for Europe; one only one set of players can win.  Coming soon to theaters, with an all-star cast, Mr. Finish & Blind Spot: Resting on Mute Lips.