The joys of rural life

I live way outside town, nearest neighbor is 1/2 mile away and I only have 2.  Anyway, we plant a watermelon patch every year way out in the pasture next to my house and have a bit of a problem with deer and coyotes digging in them.  Anyway, I'm lying in bed last night and hear a thumping.  Get up, go outside, and keep hearing it, but can't figure out what it is.  Then I realize, my father in law went ahead and bought a noise maker.  Not just any noise maker, but one that uses propane gas.  A 5 gallon tank will power this thing for 17 days and it has a timer on it to control the frequency of the booms.  Ok, I figure there is a wall and a double pane window between me and it, no big deal.  As I'm walking back inside, a car pulls up in my yard.  Keep in mind it's about 11:30 at night.  After staring at the car I realize it's a Sheriff's deputy.  It seems my neighbors have called in twice about somebody firing a shotgun at my house.  Now, granted, I do enjoy a bourbon or 3 on occasion, but I've never run around outside with a shotgun yelling "Woohoo!" and firing random shots in the air.  Anyway, as I'm talking to the deputy, the damn noisemaker goes off again, so at least he knows it wasn't me.  Anyway, the wife and I post on facebook about it and somebody 2 miles away comments that she wondered what the noise was.  Called my father in law this morning.  Being a person with a slightly different point of view, he was tickled this stupid thing was loud enough that people noticed it 2 miles away.  He has agreed to reduce the frequency of the booms so maybe that will help.

If anybody reads in the news about an angry mob with pitchforks and torches laying seige to a house in south central Alabama, it will probably be me.