SarcasmoJones
Shared on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 12:23My given name is not actually Sarcasmo Jones. Jones is more of an alter ego: a pseudonym for the part of me who likes to stir shit up or say the things that should have been left unsaid. I try to leave Jones at home when I go to work, but apparently he was hiding yesterday.
It started during our first break. My friend, Frank, and I were sitting on the staircase smoking while he regaled me with a story about how his boss, Dan, timed his last bathroom break. Dan is kind of notorious for victimizing his subordinates, but I felt that perhaps timing an employee's shit breaks was excessive. While I wasn't looking, Jones sent Dan the following e-mail:
Bathroom Timer
| Rod Wymer |
| Sent: | Wednesday, January 23, 2013 11:09 AM |
| To: | M Dan C |
Rod Wymer | Shipping
Now Dan could have come to me and voiced his disapproval, like a man. Instead he chose to take his issue straight to my boss. She came back to the shipping dept. a few minutes later to have "a talk." Apparently, Dan objected to the the fact that he was not able to mistreat his subordinates in private and insisted that something be done.Jones, now clearly in control, assured Lori, my boss, that Dan's inconsiderate and incompetent managerial style would remain "our dirty little secret" and informed her that he considered Dan to be neither his professional nor intellectual superior, but efforts would be made to keep things civil and on the down-low.
After "the chat" Jones dug up this image and attached it to the mens room door:
Near the end of the day, I was having a discussion with some of the pole vault guys regarding a missing stretch wrap hand dispenser, right before Dan's boss was due to pick up some poles. Dan, who was talking on a mobile phone, tried to "shush" the conversation with an aggravated and violent shushy noise. Jones informed him that he was on a mobile phone and kicked over his "Piso Mojado" sign...only to return a couple of minutes later to inform Dan that "your boyfriend is here."
Dan isn't talking to me today...
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Comments
Submitted by CProRacing on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 08:26
Stick it to the man Jones!!
Dan sounds to be like a grade A Ass!!
Submitted by CiaranORian on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 08:35
Well, is Frank taking 40 minute crap breaks to play Angry Birds!?!?!?
Submitted by SarcasmoJones on Fri, 01/25/2013 - 09:06
No, he's probably masturbating to porn on his iphone.
Submitted by FadeIntoBlack on Sun, 01/27/2013 - 00:25
I lol'ed. :)
Submitted by Oldschool 2o4f on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 10:36
it's a shame some insist on preventing fun at work. I'm glad you've managed anyway!
We have a supervisor here that thinks the madder you are, the more you'll get done.
When he's out for the day we've been known to have record production numbers...