I know what you did last night...

thanks for the games last night, guys! Here's the Battlefield recap from my point of view:

After a 12 hour furlough, I jumped into the machine gunner seat of the nearest tank. We rolled down the road like Miley Cyrus on crack, launching insult rounds at the enemy and smacking their faces with hot lead. None of that made any sense, but then - neither did hitting that wall and getting stuck on concrete rubble while running all freaking night long - and this was just my first hour back in the DMZ. 

After someone relieved me of my forehead and most of my neck, I was miraculously cured and my head re-attached. I ran out into the battle and headed toward my squad. Looking for cover, I ran into the nearest building where I stumbled upon a little thing the enemy likes to call a "claymore." My legs buckled and my dude turned to a rag doll as the enemy, in all his orange-glow smuggness ran around like he was some kind of hero. 

In a bit, I once again left the hospital or morgue or whatever it is ( magic healing sci-fi machine room?) and zapped myself into a boat. Since I've become proficient at it, the first thing I did was beach that thing on an island 432 clicks from nowhere. Then I ran out of ammo. Then we found a guy with ammo, but he wouldn't give it out. We all tried to corner trap him and jump up and down and shoot and call for ammo, but apparently the guy didn't speak Russian or Bosnian or Chinese or whatever it was we were currently speaking. He just ignored us for ......(wait for it ) about 15 freaking minutes. I decided the only way to get more ammo was obviously a trip to the clinic so I drowned myself in the lake. Fun times, fun times. 

Finally, after my other squadmates turned in for the night, I decided to do a little sniping. I did a little sniping. I probably managed a grand total of 3 kills in two hours. I crawl. I hide. I move. Then I die by tank or plane or chopper or falling off a building or I get run over by a jeep or a guy parachutes down on me and throws C-4 WHILE PARACHUTING down on me and kills me. 

One time though, - this one time....a guy sniped me twice from a high vantage point in that map where you do nothing but head to the bottle neck and wade through 432 health packs and 453 ammo packs while shooting down a hallway. Anyway, I was outside - YES, there is an outside to that map. Weird, I know. Anyway the guy got me twice, but the last time, I fooled him. I stopped short of sticking my head up above the rocks again, hid behind some red flare smoke and got him with one shot to the head using my seldom touched sniper rifle. How'd I do it? I wish I could tell you. How long was the shot? Who knows? I have no idea how to find out? I kept trying to pace off the distance and do some high dollar geometry to figure it out, but I can't even spell geometry so that wasn't going to work - and besides that, those bas*$&# on the other team kept killing me when I was half way there. "I'm just trying to measure my sniper kill! Geez! Stop shooting at me!" 

Around 5 a.m. I finally had enough. 

Thanks to my squadmates, that's more Battlefield played in one night than I've ever played in a week. :)

And just in case you're wondering - yeah, it still sucks when you don't have your squad.