With the arrival of news about Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost And The Damned my typing finger began twitching with anticipation. The rumors from months ago and the leaked details were so wildly at odds with one another that I was gearing up to give Rockstar the residual slapping I had left over from Molyneux’s huge disappointment.
Rockstar was given $900 billion by Microsoft to develop exclusive content for the 360 for this game, expectations for this DLC were fantastically high. Okay so maybe my news stories are getting a little mixed up, but you get the picture. There were going to be new co-op modes, new weapons, new vehicles, new hot coffee mods that “accidentally” shipped, and an increase in landmass the size of San Andreas. The game would actually contact the Bungie website and update my BR for me to have a tighter spread. This was going to be the mother of all downloadable content.
Well, it didn’t ship in the fall. It didn’t ship during the winter release drought of ’08. It didn’t even beat Fallout 3’s DLC to market. As details got more concrete, my ire grew and my urge to unleash a vitriolic stream of flame-baiting hate at this game grew. No new land mass? No new Co-op modes? I have to ride a motorcycle? I’M NOT NIKO BELLIC?! I quickly warned off my fellow writers. This was a story I would tell. I would bring down the wrath of Bubba on Rockstar and their senseless fucking with a game I loved.
Then I played it. Then I remembered what I should have in the first place -- Rockstar loves this game, too. They stand up for it in court and withstand the slings and arrows of Congressional attack and completely throw out beloved characters and giant storylines in favor of new directions to push their vision, they are painstaking about every detail and that love can be seen in every lens flare off of every Infernus bumper in the game. I should have had more faith.
The Lost and the Damned is worth your 1600 Microsoft points. Now before you go running to the XBL Marketplace and then come running back here, let me warn you…If you come back with a story that sounds like this- “Well, I never really liked GTA III and Vice City was too fake looking for me and the driving in San Andreas was too hard and I didn’t like the low-rider mini game and Liberty City was just too big and all that driving back and forth was a pain in the ass and who cares about pigeons anyway but Bubba said it was worth 1600 points so I tried it and he was wrong it sucked so now give me my money back,” the problem is not with the game. You are a moron and should stop spending money on games you don’t like. You’re not getting anything back from me and in fact should send me some cash just for wasting my time. I heard Bejeweled 2 is pretty good plus a new season of American Idol will be along any minute.
However, if, like me, you love the franchise, rejoiced when it went to the 360 at the same time as the PS3, and can handle a weapon in third-person without throwing up on your shoes (I’m talking to you, Phreak), then this could be the best $20 you spend this spring.
It’s true, you have to not mind the occasional pointless fetch quest. There is a lot of motorcycle riding and there is a new “gang” mechanic that requires you to do it with some precision for maximum benefit. However, riding is different when you’re Johnny Klebitz than when you are recently arrived Eastern European immigrant with a safety first approach to helmet laws. The new protagonist is a riding impresario.
For those of you that took the time to max your bike skills in GTA: San Andreas, this feels like that did. Only the most violent collisions will shake you out of the saddle. Combat from the seat is not only easier, but with the new sawed-off shotgun, it’s a downright pleasure. Plenty of quests will have you running full-throttle after moving targets and the old techniques of combat for GTA IV may not work as well for you in this episode. I’ve heard the new motorcycle called “nerfed,” but it makes sense that this lifelong biker should be better at it too. Besides, I can now take off a hotdog vendor’s head at full speed with a single shotgun blast from the back of my custom hog. So if nerfing is what makes that possible, nerf away.
The storyline (which I’ve covered a little over 50% of in about 10 hours of play) is as rich and detailed as you would expect from a GTA game. The voice acting is better than in any other non-GTA game and better than Rutger Hauer, Gina Gershon, Patrick Swayze and Meg Tilly in any movie any of them has ever done. The tweaks to gameplay, like (bike physics and the addition of the sweet grenade launcher) are seamless and all add to the story. There’s the obligatory “shocking” addition of adult content that Rockstar is contractually obligated to piss off legislators with. I’m sure you already know about it, but just in case you don’t…
***Spoiler Alert***
I would love to take credit for the line, but I can’t. I flat out stole it from Kotaku.
Yeah, there is some dick. If this makes you want to beat up a gay guy, it’s time to sit down and have a talk with your wife and kids. Don’t make a big deal about it. Don’t beat up a gay guy. It takes some of us longer to come to terms with our sexuality than others. You are going to have to move out of the Midwest -- but either coast will be much more suitable to exploring your new lifestyle.
While you’re sorting that entire mess out, take some time to, er- cruise around Liberty City again. The perspective from the chopper was a fresh and invigorating one for me. The additions to the radio stations are extensive and obviously aimed at the biking theme. Liberty Rock Radio was the most blatant purveyor of biker cool with Free Ride, Run to the Hills and Wanted Dead or Alive as well as other favorites built into the storyline. The kids’ sing-along I Cum Blood by the Cannibal Corpses tops a lineup of family favorites on Liberty City Hardcore station. Radio Broker and sexy-in-a-creepy-wish-I-didn’t-feel-that-way-DJ Juliette Lewis get a big bump to the playlist as well, but I didn’t know any of those songs anyway. However, for my money Beat 102.7 got the best upgrades because four words that have never appeared together for me are “Too…Much…Busta…Rhymes.” Busta comes out firing with two tracks and a previously thin line-up is much better for the addition. The full list is available in lots of places.
Rockstar even added enough side quests and mini games to make this cruising around rewarding in its own right. Gang wars and arm wrestling are the boosts the economy needs to shake off these doldrums, and air hockey, while seemingly random and incomprehensible, is made worth the effort through the hilarious trash talking. The dialogue additions alone make hanging out in the new clubhouse worth your time (from the fat chick at the club, “when is someone in this gang going to do enough drugs to fuck me?”). After I finished the original storyline, I always delighted in taking out Niko for a spin and some random street crime. I think the new characters will get the same sort of attention.
Finally, multiplayer. In a perfect world I would be telling you that TLAD improved on the already huge improvements of GTA IV. They took a cranky lobby system and tweaked it so that it works perfectly. They took the things that worked and added improvements made possible by the NXE to make moving around this game with your friends a seamless experience. They upped the number of co-op missions and added to a pretty stellar line-up of multi-player options.
The only problem is it’s not a perfect world and that’s not what happened. Rockstar partitioned an already segmented multiplayer universe and made it harder to get games in either of the two parts. TLAD has a standalone multiplayer list of games that feature a few innovations but that effectively kills any multiplayer continuity or momentum they may have gained. Now I like bashing my friends with a bat while racing choppers as much as the next guy. However, the list of my friends willing to do that with me gets smaller every time a new game comes out, another month passes or a Mini Me League starts up. So you multiply that problem across an entire multiplayer universe and what you get are long waits for ranked matches, even longer waits for unranked ones and a play-by-appointment multiplayer instead of pick-up-and play.
Don't take this review for something it isn't. This is not game journalism. I love this franchise and despite some concerns based on sketchy info as we neared the release date I still anticipated it with a lot of enthusiasm. I did try to honestly evaluate what worked and what did not, so you got a little bit of a dig at the multi-player. Still, despite a stellar line-up of games last year and some outstanding examples through the life cycle of the 360, this remains my pick for the best single player game on the Xbox 360.
So if you find that assessment wildly off you might want to reconsider my recommendation. There still remains the work of plowing through the game and knocking off the achievements, the really in-depth and exhaustive look at where this content belongs in the pantheon of DLC legends. Until the rest of you do that, I wanted to get my first impressions out there for anyone still on the fence about whether or not to buy this Game add-on. If you are a fan of the series, you must have this expansion.
The addition of this first of two promised episodes reminds me again of the genius it takes to invent the sandbox genre and then consistently do it better against a rising tide of competition. Well done, Rockstar. You have deftly evaded the wrath of Bubba.
