Adapting video games from television has proven to be a hit or miss formula for success. Lost was not a great game, neither was Knight Rider, The Dukes of Hazzard, CSI, The X-Files, or a hundred others. Earthworm Jim is the only show that I can think of that actually made a fun and successful game...but the sequel sucked. If your television program is not a game show, then it probably won’t make a great video game. Duck Dynasty is not a game show.
Welcome to Monroe, Louisiana
During the world’s lamest cut-scene, we discover that it is John Luke Robertson’s first day on the job at the Duck Commander family business. John Luke is primarily a silent protagonist, learning the ropes of work mixed with the Robertson family style of after hours entertainment. Cousin Beaux acts as John Lukes mentor, showing the young Robertson how to call ducks, shoot ducks, fish, and dig for Uncle Si’s buried treasures.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmJRKgHt_D0[width=650,height=366]
The problems with this game actually start before the game does. The physics, especially the hair, are laughably bad. I’m guessing that the Robertson’s did their own voice acting, which has resulted in some very embarrassing voice performances. How fucking hard is it to portray yourself in a video game? They should have hired professionals.
The premise of the game is also laid out for us in the introduction. John Luke is Willie’s son, so why doesn’t he know anything about Duck Commander or the Robertson way of life. Hasn’t he been a Robertson literally his entire life? If he isn’t familiar with what is going on in his own house you would think that he at least watches the television show. Nope, he’s a silent noob.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cwCdBLglF0&list=UUeUIaIHNJKlpTBo0iXuaLA...
The Outdoor Type
Becoming a well-rounded Robertson has very little to do with genetics or making duck calls as the game’s emphasis is on outdoor sports, slacking at work, and pranking the boss.
The outdoor sports are either presented as overly simplistic or unrealistically exciting. The duck calling is a timed series of button presses. The shooting of ducks, beavers, squirrels, and golf balls are all auto aimed: just squeeze the trigger. Driving is an exercise in monotony. You have a 4WD truck or ATV but neither are able to leave the established roads in the game. Every once in a while the driving is broken up by stopping the vehicle to look at a sign...I wished that I had made that last part up, but it’s actually in the game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6PO8Vyjr18&list=UUeUIaIHNJKlpTBo0iXuaLA...
The boats handle like shit, catching frogs is a lame single button press event, and at no time does anything in the game approach being a challenge, or fun. However, the fishing sequences have been ridiculously exaggerated, resulting in pixillated Perch putting up a fight that rivals any deep sea Marlin or Great White.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gciFoEbOA8[width=650,height=366]
As bad as the core mechanics and gameplay are, it is the shitty writing and lame character performances that kill any potential that this game could have had. At one point, tired of Willie’s constant insistence that work needs to be done, John Luke, Si, and Jase pull a prank by stealing Willie’s surveillance-connected iPad. This stealth mission is comprised of a sneaking past Willie, timing your movements across broken glass, while he randomly toots on duck calls. Then John Luke and Si sneak up behind Willie again, this time disguised as cardboard boxes (affectionate nod or rip-off?) to steal the tablet and prank the day. Every joke falls flat, every character looks like a fucking hobo, and Phil’s wife sounds like she’s drunk. Now I’ve never seen the show and I don’t know these people, maybe Phil’s wife had a stroke or something, but she sounded drunk to me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pCox14mUnc&list=UUeUIaIHNJKlpTBo0iXuaLA...
Something Positive
This is the part of the review where I try to say something nice about the game. This section is very short.
Sarcasmo Says
My Twitch channel was packed on the night that I streamed this game, and the game was unanimously hated by everyone in the chat room. The only possible reason a person would have to play this game would be a fan of the show who just can’t get enough Robertson in their life, and those people will hate it too. You would be better served buying a DVD of the show. Duck Dynasty is a flop of the highest order.
