A glimpse into the HMR head

I feel your pain on alot of what you've got going on. My Dad is also very sick in the hospital right now. Viral infection and no immune system to speak of. I don't know the situation with the A-Team thread(I assume that's the thread you were referring to) but being a part of the OMM and hearing of people berating you because of what I thought was just a fun, silly thread really pisses me off. I thought my clan was better than this. Maybe I was wrong, but I hope I'm not. Soberiety isn't my thing, but I've been a serious drinker anyway. If you need you stay clean, more power to you and keep the faith brother. Take it easy.

Hammer, man, I wish there was somehting I could do. All i can say is that tough times are there for a reason, so that we can understand the good. if you ever need someone to chat with, or just listen, I'm there. if you just need to blow shit up.. well, I'm always there for that. I'll just add the bullseye to my Hound ;-)

Sorry about everything going on in your life. i wish things were easier. What a GREAT son you are to take on your parents care. I do know that "the person" in your life is very upset and it was a very hard thing to do. I wish you all the best in your life. People like you who always help other people, are the best, and good things WILL happen for you. Bonus note---Join my clan and post what ever you want!!!

hey Armin, I was wondering why you hadn't been around much in the clan forums. figured you were busy, which you are. sorry to hear about your Mom. :( I don't have any advice other than to make sure you tell her that you love her. as for the woman, don't ever feel that you are not good enough for her. that is her to decision to make. and if she's crying while saying good bye, that's a good indication that she cares a lot for you. keep your head up and maintain the strength to stay clean/sober. drugs and alcohol only complicate problems, they never solve them.

Sorry to hear you're going through such a rough patch right now Arm. Seems like the old saying is true, when it rains it pours. Hopefully your next set of problems will be which hot chick should I go out with this week! Why do those types of problems never rain down once in a while?

Wow hammer man, I knew of some of that from talking to you, but not all sorry your luck has been bad as of late. What is that corny line if it doesnt kill you it only makes you stonger, I am not one to talk but it should get better, and from my experience hanging with you online you are a good guy and will get through it. And finally the thread thing, I didnt even remember you were in that mix of controversy etc. no wonder I havent seen you on the forums, no ill will here but I guess you allready knew that, and frankly nobody else should have held any part of it against you either buet hey everyone has their opinions their good traits and their faults we all work through it. Hang in there hammer, I and many others are here for ya bro, we can blow shit up anytime you want man just let me know.

Hammer what can i say. First it was great to play some Halo together again last night, i miss playing with you and all my A team buds. You mentioned some of whats been going on in your life of late and Im honored that you shared it with me. Im sorry to hear about your parents and that its created such a stressful time for you. My father has a saying that has always helped me see past the immediate pain of a situation. " This too shall pass" In no way is that meant to belittle the pain and distress you are enduring but it is imperative that you recognize that life is like an ocean and its waves bring us up and down continually through out our journey across it. This low point will pass and You will not always feel this way, let that simple truth help give you strength to make it so :-) Long distance is hard and can make relationships impossible. However, love knows no distance. So maybe you just need a break right now with all that is going on. Once that ocean wave comes back up perhaps the distance wont seem so far. :-) On the A Team thread...wow, I respect the fact that you have chosen to put your feelings and experience into words, i give you credit. Im not sure Im ready to do that. Mainly because i fear it would end with my departure and so I have chosen to wait. You and i have spent many times in the Halo lobby discussing the incident and how it resolved itself. You know how i feel and i understand what you were trying to do. I have apologized for my contribution to your assault of PMs :-) You and I made our piece and healed our wounds early and quick and I have always been thankful for that. Your one of the good guys and one of the reasons I joined the OMM over any other clan, and why I stay. Most importantly I miss you and i miss your contribution in the forum. So I hope you will come back soon. But i respect your need for time off. There are lots of people that are responsible for what happened with that thread and in no way should you feel that it was all your fault, abso-fuckin-lutly not!!!!!! Truth is, we all hold a chunk of responsibility for that mess. Even those that chose not to get involved at all, because we are a community and the troubles of that threads final hours were effecting all of us and therefore deserved the attention of the entire community. For me that thread was a moment in time. A moment that is lost and gone now. Its sad that some felt threatened some how by that thread. Or that they felt there wasn't enough room in our family for it, or for the A Team. But thats what happened and so that thread needs to die, it needs to drag all its pain and ill will away with it as it fades into oblivion. However.......it was just a thread. The A Team was an idea, an experience of like minded souls, and I echo MTK above, the A Team will never die! Because the fact is when i play with people i like, with people that I laugh with and enjoy playing with, like yourself, then the A Team lives on for me and I hope it does for you too. So when ever you get tired of building hounds and blowing up tanks, grab your BR and some stickies and lets go fuck up some timmies. LOL !!! Lastly, our ability to love and care for others is totally dependent on our ability to love ourselves. My experience has been that drugs and alcohol are a way of self medicating against emotional pain and unhappiness with ourselves. Those feelings are part of those same up and down waves. But some times we need a little help to stay in the boat so we can ride the upside of the wave and back into the daylight. Dont go it alone my man, if those addictions are calling you dont ignore them, get some help. Some one to talk to . In other words, care enough about yourself to take care of yourself, so that you can have the strength and ability to be there for the people you love and that need you. Welcome home my brother, welcome home! You have been missed!! Long live the God Of Thunder, The Mighty Hammer!!!! Long live the A Team!!! and most of all Long live the OMM !!!!! Peace BAT

Hey Hammer. I really hope everything works out well for you. I know life can sure be hard most of the time. I think friends are very important in helping us make it through it all. I think of you as my friend and, If you ever need to vent or talk just PM me. You were the first OMM I played Halo2 with (besides my brother Mongoose). You really made me feel welcome. I remember thinking of how cool it was that you took the time that Sunday night to teach me how to play Halo2. I miss playing games with you. I hope to see you on xbox soon. Peace.

Hey Armin I was wondering where you'd been. Stay positive and I truely admire what your doing with your folks and neighbors. I'm a bit fringe so I don't know the story on the A Team thread that well but your one of my fav clan mates and I hope you will be comfortable enough to post more soon and come play some COD2/PGR3, it's been too long. I'll even put in the old H2 to catch up with ya. I am available if you ever need to chat.

Well Armin, I am sad to hear about all of the things going on in yourlife. I too , as we all, have been through tough times and I think you are a strong person and will percevier(SP??) I am little bummed to hear that you are still upset about the A-team thread. I think it has been said many many times that we are a family and families don't always agree or get along. The thread did not die at that point, but went on for 5 more pages after the "issue" I am also sorry to hear that you were berated and cussed at. I spoke with many many many and had tons and tons of PM's, and not one negative thing was said about you. I wish that you would have let me know the culprits and copied me, I would have tried to handle it. I may not have handled it like you wanted, but I hope you understand that you were not the only person involved and I had PM's from MANY MANY folks, and I tried to do the right thing. In the end, It was still the A team thread. I know that I look forward to playing with you and always enjoy the game play and the banter. I, like you, have to remeber that we can't please everyone all of the time, we can only try to do what is right. My thoughts are with you through this tough time and if you wanna talk, or yell or whatever, hit me up, you are a brother in arms and I want to be here for you. Rockcrawler69 Old Man Mafia

Jeez,after Bat's tribute anything I say will be a tad anti-climactic.Suffice to say that if you need to talk or whatever feel free to PM me or send a message or something.I too remember you taking the time to help people in Halo2 and always thought that was a really cool thing to do.Come back when you're ready and stay strong/clean/free.-DMAN-

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.” -Unknown If you need a hand, a hug, a wheel-man,

-power cut out- ...or someone to race that Goat with, I'm there. -white

Hammer, Wow, what do I say? I'm sorry to hear about all the strife in your life, but you are a strong person. Sometimes the things in life that make it difficult are the things that bring us the most joy....a close family member or friend leaving us or passing away, it's sad, it's hard, but at least you were able to share your life, love and the good times with them. Just try to remember all those good times Hammer, that goes for the A Team as well. Your a great person and really helped me out when I first started playing Halo, not just training me, but being a friend. Stay clean buddy, and if you need a anything, let me know. -Avril

I posted last night, but my comment was lost in the server move. :( Anyway, in short...HMR, you are a great comrade to your OMM brethern (and sistern). I know I appreciate all the help you gave me with CH a few weeks back. And of course you have the best SIG ever!! hehe So by all means we want you to be around and involved. I am sorry to hear about life's struggles. Sounds like quite the burden. I will pray for you and your family. I hope that things lighten up and become more managable. Keep on being strong as far as the addictions go. I have many a family member that have walked down your path. It's not easy. But they have no regrets on choosing a clean lifestyle. God bless and hit me up if you're on, I would be more than happy to serve as some HMR fodder in COD some time. :D Sincerely, Stryker

I know this post is late but I'm new to 2O2P. After reading this post & the comments, I had to commend everyone for their thoughtful & insightful remarks--this is truly a wonderful community. ArminK, I don't even know you, but I empathize with your struggle. I hope that by now life is better & that you have remained strong. I look forward to meeting you someday. All the best.