Childhood

So I just went to the trouble to type this out elsewhere, and I thought I would share it here as well. If you are a serious animal lover you may not want to read it. Just remember, this was almost 20 years ago...

When I was 14, my friends mom had this cross eyed Siamese cat, named Sassy. We hated the cat. The cat hated us.
One cold, dry winter day(In Godforsaken Nebraska) we were hanging out at his house, unsupervised, bored, and with only basic cable to amuse us.
I started shuffling my feet and shocking him with the static charge. This quickly became a game with the two of us scooting around in circles on the living room rug, trying to electrocute each other.
The cat was disinterestedly watching us from the bottom of the stairs where she had been napping...so we decided to electrocute the cat.
Being the science geeks we were, we thought out a plan to get the best jolt possible, after all we only had one shot at this. Metal is an excellent conductor, so I grabbed the cast iron frying pan from the kitchen to deliver the jolt. We also took off our shoes and put on extra socks to increase our power. Then we decided that if we were to hold hands and work together, we could DOUBLE the amount of charge.

So here I am at 14, holding hands with my best friend,(Homophobia was supressed in the interest of science) both in stocking feet, shuffling around the living room in circles like a choo choo train while holding a frying pan for 20 minutes. The cat continued to watch us, with that smug look on her face, ignorant of our intent.

The moment of truth came.

Still holding hands, I slowly lowered the pan to Sassys head. It reminded me of when they electrocute a convict in the movies and they put the metal thing onto their head. The cat is looking up at me, stupid, smug and cross eyed....until the pan got within about half an inch of her ear....then Hell broke loose.

A lot of things happened simultaneously. A bright blue arc with an audible crack shot from the pan and into the tip of the cats ear. I could feel the electricity through both of my hands as it left me and went into the cat in concentrated form. The doorbell went off for no reason. The cat made an un-catlike sound as it flew up the flight of stairs without touching them.

We didn't see the cat for the rest of the day, When Mitches mom came home, she couldn't find Sassy (She hid under the bed for a good 12 hours) After that, the cat would leave the room when we walked in. We never told her what we did to her cat.

Wouldn't you know it that damn cat lived to be 19 years old. Reminds me of The Green Mile. I think the shock recharged her batteries, and she got all nine lives back.

I'm a giver, it's what I do.....I give.