It's a good thing I think monkeys are funny...

Three managers are in the office, The secretary (who cleans the bathrooms) comes in and asks the indelicate question, " Did any of you take a crap in the employee bathroom in the last hour?"

One says Yes.

The secretary then leads him into the bathroom and asks him to clean up the smeared turd he left on the SEAT.

"What, that little thing?" the manager says.

I wanted to ask him what was the maximum allowable amount of shit considered acceptable to leave on a toilet seat.

I think it's about a pound and a half.