I had a (f&$#ed up) dream...

After a week of shuffling bedroom assignments in the house and spending days locked in rooms while I repainted them, I thought I had finally escaped my fume-filled prison. Apparently last night was the proverbial straw as it relates to my state of mind. Because of the smell upstairs, my oldest got dibs on my spot in the bed, while I got bumped to what I'll generously describe as a "couch" in the basement. I'm not saying that I've never slept on that thing before, but it's usually with the assistance of cheap vodka and late hour.

Anyway, after I finally got to sleep sometime after 2:00 AM I had what might be the strangest dream I've had in a long time. Or at least the only one I remember for quite a while. I don't normally remember even if I've dreamed, let alone specific details.

So there I am at the LAN, and evidently I've got the kids with me. Realizing that a room full of drunk 2o2p members is not an appropriate setting for three kids, I found a convenient solution: I sent them to stay with Tank! In the dream Tank lived in Twinsburg, Ohio with his girlfriend, Deena.

Later Tank shows up at the LAN which gets me concerned about who's taking care of the kids. He says not to worry because Deena is watching them. Even in dreamland, I realize that I'm in world of trouble. I have to fess up to the wife about what I've done and she insists that I go get the kids immediately, so I pack up the car and head for Ohio to retrieve the little ones.

I don't really remember the details of what happened next, but I get there and realize that this young woman is wholly unqualified to care for children and I get mine home, where one of the younger ones starts begging to play with the "douche cannon" again. I find myself shuddering at the thought of what this device could possibly be.

This is around the point that my wife woke me up, so I can't say what happened after that. It was just an oddly vivid experience and strange that I could recall so much of it, at least for me. The only things missing were the savage beating I'd get from the woman and a visit from a social worker.