"Cloverfield"... What the FUCK was THAT!?!

I love Monster Movies. When I say monster movie, I don't mean the slasher movies of the 80's and on through Hostel and SAW. I mean MONSTER movies, the classic Godzilla meets Mothra meets Rodan type of Monster movies.

I watched them all the time as a kid and really enjoyed them.

*** Spoiler Alert****

If you've been waitin in anticipation to see this movie and don't have a clue what it's about, read no further. While I won't get into a lot of plot detail, I will still describe enough of the movie that it may rui it for you....

... You've been warned....

... seriously, I mean it....

... alright, fuck you then...

After guessing with the rest of America, I figured it would be a flic about the experiences of people on the ground during a massive monster attack. I thought it would be an Indy kind of thing where you probably wouldn't even see the monster. I was a little right and a little wrong.

It is a movie based on the risks and experiences of a small group of people whose lives were interrupted by the attack of an unknown monster. You do however eventually get to see the monster. It's a dewsy too. It's a big indesctructable fucker in the classic traditions of "hah, your puny human weapons are no match for my (fill in the blank)". There's even a neat twist to it that would make it even more fuckin' wrong and unfair if it were to actually happen.

The camera work is all "amatuer" filmography broken up with just enough decent footage to not send you into a siezure. If you got dizzy and maybe puked a little watching the Blair Witch Project, maybe take a sea-sick pill before sitting down for this one. You get tempted at times to scream, "could you just fuckin hold the camera steady just one fuckin' time please???" Despite being a little nausiating it does add to the realistic feel. The film quality is not a cover for bad special effects however. The effects are very good and the sets are VERY well done. This movie does NOT look like some douche-bags college film class mid-term offering.

What the characters are doing and how they are reacting seem genuine and you do make a loose connection with them through the film. Just don't get too connected. These guys have the same kind of luck the rest of us have and what they are exposed to ends with the results that would most likely occur.

Overall, a well done film but, I had a few poblems with it.

Realizing what they were going after and acknowledging that they DID accomplish this, I still think that a few of the big questions raised in the movie should have been answered. There were too many, "what the hell just happened" comments from fellow movie goers. Considering that the film is basically played from the standpoint that the film is itself supposed to be recovered footage from one persons camera and of course wouldn't have all of the answers from the event,  you have to acknowedge that this IS a movie after all that people are paying to go see. People want closure, we want to know certain answers to questions the movie plot presents us with. Those little nagging bits of exposed trivia do bother you a bit.

A cliff hanger ending is only acceptable when you know that it will be concluded or at least continued sometime in the near future. If the "Perils of Pauline" had been a one-hitter, it would have gotten the writers murdered. But, because it was designed as a serial, people loved them. This is where I hope those responsible with Cloverfield will make right by their audience.

The commercials and teasers made people curious. It revealed just enough to raise some questions and generate hype. Having done that they have a responsibility to at least satiate some of those hints.

In a way they did the same thing that the Coen brothers did in "No Country for Old Men", a fantastic flic that just well, ... stops. I loved that movie and hated the fact that it just ended with no real closure but, at least it did have a little closure. Cloverfield has NONE. Well, okay, everybody fuckin' dies.  I guess that's sort of closure.

Even the aforementioned abortion "Blair Witch" had characters tripping over bits of obscure information to help fill in the information gap. If Cloverfield would have and COULD have done that, it would have been less of a disappointment.

This movie did accomplish one thing for me personally though. Back in the day when Godzilla was stomping through Tokyo and you had all of those civilians running wild frantically trying to survive, I now realize I didn't give a shit about them. I was chearing for the monster. I think most people were. You were tuning in for the rampant destruction wrought by a big-ass unrealistic mosnter wishing, "Damn, I wish I had a huge Rubber-Lizard suit and a massive diorama to destroy".

If that's the case, it explains why people go see monster movies, FOR THE FUCKIN MONSTER!!

The only way that the makers of Cloverfield will make any more money is to immediately release the sequel. It needs to be in the traditional monster movie viewpoint of showing the monster doing monster type things to insignificant unknown little people.

The sequel should then be titled, "We're Sorry".

Cloverfiel is a good movie, it just isn't one you will want to own. You can see it once and be done with it. Considering that most of the money is made in either the first two weeks (not likely to happen considering the words gonna get out fast) OR in post-release DVD sales (again, not likely) then I hope to hell the guys behind this already have the next one loaded and ready to go.

They're gonna need it.