Expletive laden Rant (Seriously!!)

Getting old fucking sucks.

My ciatic nerve is fucking killing me. My knees are killing me. What the fuck is going on? Why the hell does this shit just all of the sudden bend you over and screw you?

A year or so ago I was fine, even after blowing out my knee at work I was fine for awhile. Of course, my agency completely fucked up the Workers Compensation shit so I'm screwed when it came up that I would probably need surgery to fix it. Yeah, I know, I could sue. Nice. I'd get my knee fixed but then my career would be over and my financial situation would get flushed since I'd have to retrain for a diferent career. Im not young enough to get a "job". I need a career. One with benefits, medical, dental, optical (did I mention that I'm far-sighted, or is it near-sighted? I get them confused). The under 30's don't get that, at least most of them don't seem to.

I've reached that part in life when all of the little shitty injury I ever had is coming back to huant me. My right knee got screwed up when I was in Junior High trac. My right shoulder got hammered in raquetball in college. Left knee, 2003 (I think). Left wrist, two months ago. I don't remember screwing them up but all of the joints in my arms, wrists and hands have been getting stiffer and pop all the time. I think it may be leading to arthritis, my wife thinks I'm just getting paranoid.

Of course I'm paranoid, EVERYTHING FUCKIN' HURTS.

My lower back is giving me serious problems, comes from wearing the heavy crap laden duty rig for years at a time and sitting in a patrol car for the majority of the time.

I realize that there are a lot of you saying< "Poor baby, you ain't seen nothin' yet junior". Yeah, I know.

Some of you 40 and above guys have worse problems but not all of you. Some of you are perfectly healthy. If you are, kill yourself. (kidding).

Some of you 50 and above guys are saying, "Pussy, just you wait". Yeah, I know.

Everybody over 60, I can only say, Congratulations you made it.

What all of you need to remember is that I'm sure there was a day, probably sometime in your late 30's early 40's, when you went, "What the hell happened to my youthful health and vitality? Why do I hurt ALL OVER? Why does it take me 5 minutes to roll out of bed? What the FUCK just popped!!?! I never heard THAT creak before when leaning over. Is the newspaper getting HEAVIER!?!? Why is the dog LAUGHING at me???

Well, I've been having that day for the last several months.

Sorry if I'm not taking this shit in stride but I hate this.

I have Ibuprofen in 800 milligram tablets. I used to think that that shit was awesome. Now, barely puts a dent in it.

I had to burn 8 hours of sick time tonight. I was having trouble getting in and out of the patrol unit without having to stop and wait for my ciatic nerve to stop screaming at me. Anybody who has never had problems with their ciatic nerve I hope you never do but, I can describe it to you. Imagine the worst charlie-horse / muscle cramp you've ever had radiating from your ass-cheak down your leg and up you lower back.

Mega-sucko.

Well, I'm waiting for the second Aleve to hopefully kick in. So, I'm going to finish my really strong rum and coke.