I have said this before......

... and I will most definitely say it again, People fucking SUCK!!!

The lengths that some will go to make the person they allegedly used to have feelings for miserable knows absolutely NO bounderies. My first of two most recent examples is your basic child custody gag. There are most likely some reading this who have either participated in or at least been the victim of this. You fall in love, probably bullshit but what the fuck do you know right? You get married, most liely for the wrong reasons. Someone who gives great and often head is NOT the best criteria for a spouse, but it's apparently at the top of some lists. You then have children. Why the HELL would you bring kids into an abortion of a relationship like some of these marriages?

Here's a hint, if for any reason the thought crosses your mind, "You know what would really help our marriage survive all of our problems? Children..", drink a gallon of bleach. If you hate the fucker now you will want to murder them after the added stress of curtain climbers is added to the mix. If you can't agree on the color of the frickin curtains in the living room you will most definitely not see eye to eye on the raising of small kiddoes. Although, they make excellent weapons of mass destruction before, during and after a divorce.

The only thing that the newly-divorced seem to agree on is that they want full custody of the kids. He was good enough to let stick a dick in you but apparently NOW he's satans own minion. On that most happy of thoughts, a little gender equality..... She was a good enough mother for you to leave at home alone with your most cherished of possession while you were sticking said dick in her but now she's the most irresponsible and neglectful human being on the face of the planet?

... Right

Everbody knows that the 800 pound gorilla in the room is that the ONLY reason that people fight so much about the kids isn't about the kids. It's about causing as much pain as possible for the betrayal that the Son-of-a-Bitch / Vicious Shrew perpetrated when they didn't bend over backwards to make YOU happy. How dare they not change everything about themselves to suit YOUR perfect needs. What gave THEM the right to have expectations from YOU.

The advice I used to give to couples, particularly young ones, when working non-violent domestics (back when I used to give a shit) was this: Live everyday with the following thought: "what can do to make my spouses life easier and less stressful". Love them unconditionally, trust them implicately but help them just get through the damn day with fewer worries.

Now, I pretty much mind my own business and just take notes and photographs. For the violent domestics, I tell the one I don't arrest to stop being an idiotic punching bag and get a fucking divorce and an address change.

So, after the perfect marriage has turned into the perfect "fuck-you" festival, it's time for the pain-train. She's neglectful / drug-addict / abusive / dating a pedophile. He IS a pedophile / abusive / alcoholic / dating a horrid eater of small children and animals. And wouldn't you know it, they get worse the closer it gets to custody and visitation hearings.

Aint love grand?

Obviously, I don't think that ALL divorces end this way, but ironically, MOST of the ones who call the police on a regular bases DO.

Now during all this concern for the environment of the poor children there's only one thing that is forgotten, THE ENVIRONMENT OF THE FUCKIN KIDS!!

Nobody gives a shit what it's doing to their sons and daughters to watch and LISTEN to mommy and daddy cut each other to pieces. Mommies and daddies that these poor kids still, for reasons unknown to me, still love and adore. Our children love us even passed the point where they should probably stop. No concern is ever paid to them when the mom/dad is telling their child how horrible their dad/mom are and being qestioned, probed, poked, prodded, PHOTOGRAPHED. All in the quest for ammunition to use againts their post-significant-pain-in-the-ass.

The VAST majority of juvenile offenders are children of divorced parents. Interview inmates and I would put good money on it that most of them are also from broken homes. They more than likely watched the people who were supposed to be teaching them how to be good and productive members of society instead use them as fodder of revenge and retribution. If they can be a tool the why shouldn't they expect everybody else to be their tool.

The products of fine parenting, with a few exceptions.

Which brings me to the second example of why I am positive that people suck. My sister.

Despite all of their best efforts some very good people have shitty kids. Even though in some regards we are products of our own environments we can and do CHOOSE to live the way we live. We eventually figure out that what we are doing is either good or bad and then decide on our own how to act and treat others.

My parents are incredible people. My sister was denied NOTHING. Anything she wanted or could possible need was provided to her. My sister is more accurately, my half-sister. You guessed it, my mom was her mom. Our mom divorced her dad. Difference being that their divorce was pretty much without the drama. In fact, her former husband stayed a family friend. He treated me and my brother like one of his own kids when he was visiting my sister / his daughter. The guy had issues like the rest of us but he was basically a decent human being.

I don't know shy but my sister was always a little,... well, emotionally unstable. Dramma queen, huge. Everthing was a big and tremendously theatrical production. At any moment, the world could end if my sister wasn't happy.

It should come as no surprise that my sister has been divorced. FOUR TIMES. She got hitched at 17. Teen pregnancy and NOT listening to my parents saying, "Don't get married just because you are pregnant". I was there, I heard them say it. She got divorced about 4 years later when she got pregnant again, not by her husband. At least to her credit, she was already divorced when she got knocked up by the guy she was cheating on her husband with. She later divorced him (he was a complete douche-bag by the way). She then took off to Kalifornia and left both of her kids (at that time little kids) with the douche-bag former second husband. Marries the thrid guy whom she moved to Kalifornia with. Divorced him thankfully before having any kids. She got her tubes tied, at least she did the world THAT favor. She then met husband number four and moved back home. After a few years of seemingly having it good, she couldn't hold her water and eventually got another divorce.

Experiencing my sisters many marriages and divorces is what gave e my initial insight into how love can change. Even when we told her the guys she was with were douchebags, she would always disagree, we just didn't know them. Ironically enough, ALL of her ex-husbands turned out to be abusive and had anger issues (at least after everything went south anyway). They weren't, well, two of them were assholes but the first guy was just young and naive. The fourth husband was a good guy, just too string willed to let my sister run his life. God bless him

Oh, just in case you were thinking I ws being too hard on my sister. A few years ago she adopts a couple of kids, a boy and girl. Siblings from an apparently drug addled mom. Great kids nonetheless. My sister adopted them I guess because she thought it would be nice to have living accesories to her succesful upper-middle-class life because when that marriage ended, she left them with the rest of the stuff she didn't have a use for anymore. Statement like, "Shouldn't have adopted them anyway" got carelessly tossed around. My sister should be dragged through the street and stoned.

This took around 20 years to accomplish. During this whole time my sister is actually pretty succesful. See, she isn't stupid, she's just a cunt. Even when she jumps off of the bridge backwards she usually lands on her feet somehow. She has always led a fairly upper-middle class lifestyle and mostly due to her own income. She isn't a gold digger, she has had really good jobs. But, when her life blew up, she always got rescued by my parents, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars. I'm not kidding. One example, while living in Kalifornia (Burbank area) there was an earthquake that destroyed her apartment, she lost everything. Her renters insurance wasn't enough so she tapped my parents for a credit card and promptly ran up, in one month, about 10-12k. That was one of MANY times. I don't think my sister ever fucked up cheaply.

Fast forward. My sister's last divorce and most recent stupid decision, she again moves out of state. She leaves behind medical bills that my parents cosigned for and then has the sack to try to hit them AND her father up for several grand to help her get started. My parents don't say no they just say that can only give her $2000, it's what they have in cash. She gets pissed that they won't sell things to get her the rest of it and proceeds to tell them what shitty parents they have been and how they screwed up not only her life but mine and my brother's life as well.

If I had any contact at all with my sister, if she was on fire, I would not piss on her to put her out.

My sister and what she has done is the primary reason that I'm sensitive to what people do to each other and their kids with divorce. Why I take my own marriage so seriously. I screw up some things, I'm not always as supportive as I can be, I can be selfish. But, in the big picture I know that it takes two to make a marriage work but only one person can screw up the whole works.

Please God, don't let me screw it up.