I'm a Lazy Douchebag.

Okay, maybe not. But, it has been a long time since my last blog entry.

So, what has made me tardy in my latest outpouring of insightful goodies? Something so damn geekie, I never thought that I would actually partake in it. The latest Harry Potter books.

I know, HOMO!

Seriously, my wife, after many years of trying to talk me into reading them finally succeeded in getting me to read the last two books. I have usually waited for the movies to come out and other than that I wasn't too interested. But, I must say that with the last movies shifting into darker territory, my curiosity got the better of me. Plus, I like to have sex with my wife. No, I take that back. I LOVE to have sex with my wife. So, in the interest of my thus far Viagra-free lidido I made her happy and read the damn things.

My usual taste in movies goes into this category; Man on Fire, The Punisher, Transformers, The Bourne Whatever-cy, stuff like that. The books I read are generally techno-thrillers ala Larry Bond and Tom Clancy. I like billion dollar words about complex crap that makes most peoples brains hurt and yearn for the Sunday funnies.

I hesitated mostly because at the core of my being I am a pragmitist. I would have to keep myself from screaming at the screen, "Just SHOOT the fucker already, I have to PEE. Haven't you magical fairies ever seen a gun!!! My wife tells me that it is supposed to be a suspension of belief. I call it crap. But, anyway, I digress.

I admit it, I enjoyed the last two books. They were fairly decently written. I did have trouble with some of the ways the author tried really hard to make simple crap complex. For example: Why the hell is a killing curse so unforgiveable if you are defending yourself? It's not murder if the evil prick had it comin' to him. Am I missing something? And why DON'T they grab a gun? I realize that it's kind of for the same reason why some horror movies being filmed in Texas wouldn't work. In about the first 30 seconds of the movie the murderer would run into one of the 30+ % of the population who carry a gun (not own a gun, CARRY it) and then BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM..clickclickclick. Movie over, where's the exit.

Yup, one 7.62x54mm at about a hundred yards (you could do it from farther out but why. He's wiggling a frickin stick around for cripes sake) and Lord FancyPants is now Princes PinkMist.  I of course understand that for some reason this would reduce the number of books and movies. There is a limit on how much you can expound on the game of Quiddich before poeple go, "Alright, we get it. Shut the fuck up already!!"

That wasn't the only reason. I've been working and playing Halo 2. Mostlly goofing off on Sanctuary trying to hit that superbounce at Blue base. There has to be a way to get up onto the upper deck. I can nail the bounce, just not the turn and crouch just right.

So frivolity has won out over my literary responsibilities, I can only apologize to my faithful readers.

So to the both of you, I'm a sad panda.