Letting Go

I've fooled myself long enough, your silence speaks for you, it's time to let go.

You asked me to be your center, to ground you, and I failed. I'm truly sorry for that.
I couldn't be there all the time, and the demon slipped in. The demon that comes in powders
and pills and promises a good time. I've seen this demon many times, I know it's ways. It's
taken friends and family from me, and now the woman I truly loved. The woman I was prepared
to spend my life with. I hope some part of that woman still lives, but I know the demon has
her. I've seen the signs for some time, but I let my love for you get in the way. The demon
will lie to you, and mock my words. The "friends" around you have the demon too, and will
laugh at me I'm sure, while the people who truly care about you grow sad and distraught at
seeing their friend, daughter, sister, mother, lover be consumed and lost to them. They'll
still see you from time to time when the demon wants something they may have. Beg, borrow,
and steal are the demons ways, and we'll be the ones who'll have to pay for your actions.
But, the demon doesn't care about us or even you, it just cares about itself and it will
hurt anyone who gets in its way. All it wants is to get a tighter grip on you, to consume you.
The demon destroys lives, and not just yours. The people who truly care about you, we are the
ones left to suffer the loss of you. It will make you lie, cheat, and steal to get what it
wants. It already has, hasn't it? I hope the strong, confident woman I fell forever in love
with will one day see the truth and be able to fight her way back and take control of her life
again. I hope that she can see these words and feel my love for her. For now, I know the demon
has her. Your ears will echo with "whateva" and think I'm just a sentimental fool and it will
mock my pain in your mind and just blow me off and toss me away like a used paper cup.
Well, I'd rather be a sentimental fool with true friends than an unwitting slave. Eventually
my dear, you won't be useful to the demon anymore and find yourself tossed away like that
paper cup. Nothing good ever comes from that junk, I can only hope that you realize it before
it's too late and take your life back. To the demon who I know is running her life at the
moment, I tell you now, there are no opportunities for you here. I know you're pulling the
strings, so I can't trust the face or words of my beloved, and for that I will always hate
you and myself as well for letting you take another of my loved ones. After all the effort
I made to win her love, to show her how much I cared for her and to what lengths I would go
for her, I let that very devotion be the door that let you in foul demon. I will carry that
guilt forever.
If you're still in there my darling, I'm so very sorry, I will love you always. ~Ur Joshy