Dear Public Private Diary,

Here is a rocking little tune for ya! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpWM3uTtwZM Live for the future Durty! Don't worry, just try to live your life as best you can. Don't worry about Karma. The sun rises on a new day! SC

have you seen my weiner?

Hmmm... I am a mean SOB myself. Although I dont feel bad about it one little bit. The world is a tough place. You do what you need to in order to survive. Some people, dont do anything. Them people are the sheep. I see them everywheres. I dont really think you are weird or anything... What you need to do is get a bullshit job. One where you really dont give a fuck. I bet once you do that, you will feel better. It is better to not worry about the past. Look to the future instead. Take care of the ones you love. Do the best you can for the ones that love you. They are the only ones that mean anything. Family and freinds. Fuck all them other fuckers. One last tidbit: If you dont have moneys to buy a hat. Make a Fro hat.

Woman's Perspective: Find a job - any job for now - It will improve your self worth. Do some volunteer work - it will make you feel good to help others, thus improving your mood. You can't change your past actions - you can only alter your current self. Do the right thing from here on out, even when it's difficult. Stop worrying about finding a girlfriend. You obviously need to focus on your self-esteem. No one wants the baggage of an insecure, attention seeking, co-dependent, self-loathing woman. Learn to like yourself...others will follow.

Been there, Durty. You need to ask yourself, what YOU need to do for yourself. Sit down and make a list of things you like about yourself and those you want to change. Look at the list of things you want to change and then write down things that YOU can do to bring them to the other side. The more you sit and wallow in self-pity the more perpetuating it becomes. Get off your butt and do something. It isn't easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is. You can do this!

Hang in there girl. Echoing what some others have said, all I can tell you is that you are the only one who can chnage thngs. Don't wait for others to do it for you because it woun't happen. I like Bleu's suggestion about volunteer wor. That's a great idea. They are always "hiring."

Between the ages of about 15-21 I was on the loser path and had issues. Issues come from somewhere - maybe you were beat, maybe your dad abandoned you, maybe mom was alcoholic, maybe rape...Whatever. These are the things that cause issues...Either way - this is a passage of a book I read and all of a sudden something clicked and I turned my life around almost overnight...It's kind of long. I hope it helps....(Replace parents with whoever you believe caused your issues) "Forget all the bad stuff they did to you when you were a kid. Wipe it out. Zero. Nada. "But you say "they blah blah blah" so what? In the first place, maybe they weren't as bad as you think, but so what? Maybe they had reasons for their bad behavior, but so what? Maybe they were just downright cruel, selfish, unreasonable schmuck, but the question remains, so what? None of this ancient history should matter to you today. The shrinks disagree at $200 an hour, or whatever they pry out of you. But if you start probing in to the past, whining about all your grievances and bad memories, there's no end to it. Will you be healed? Never. You will just wallow in victimization. You won't overcome your emotional problems, you'll be excusing them. You know what you're doing? You're paying an analyst to be your ally against your absent parents. And you're wasting your life and money. Here's what you have to do, beginning right now. Face your problems on your own. Deal with the cards you're dealt. It's too late for retooling. You're a completed work. What happened, happened. Get it? Should you forgive your parents? You'd be better off if you could. If you can't forgive them, then drop the grudges. Otherwise you're just looking for revenge and that keeps you from enjoying life in the present. If you're hung up on your parents' mistakes you're allowing them to keep doing to you over and over whatever they did in the first place. It's you, not Mom and Dad, who's keeping the cycle of pain going. Shut it off. If you can live in the present, and take responsibility for your emotional state, you will be ahead of 90 percent of the population. Stick to basics. Are you sad today because your father spanked you too hard for no reason 30 years ago? You could make an appointment with the shrink. Or you could get off the couch and exercise in the fresh air, or eat a healthful meal instead of junk food, or stop feeling sorry for yourself and call a friend who may be having problems much worse than yours and needs to talk. These things work. That's what the British mean by "stiff upper lip" It got them through WWII." You can always PM me if you ever want to air some shit of chest...Peace

Tdrag is one wise person.

BasBleu and Tdrag said it best.. but I will agree with you that Karma is probably f'ing with you right now. All you can do is try to be better then you were. Listne to Bas and T..

Losing your job and being out of work for so long can really do a number on you. Don't worry about your past, just be a better person in the present and future.

man, i feel bad for SICRIK!

Thanks TDrag, I enjoyed reading that. I have struggled my whole life with low self esteem, so I know a little bit how you feel. I have been a long time believer in Karma, I have seen it work for me, seriously. All I can say for you now, is that remorse over your previous actions may be the first step. Next time you feel like doing something hurtful to someone else, try and remember how you feel now. It may help prevent you from continuing the cycle.

No such thing as Karma. It's just an excuse to throw your hands in the air and exclaim that there's nothing you can do. Meh, so your bi. With all things people can be, being bi is the least harmless. One thing I'll never understand is the desire to share sexual preferations that are not straight with the rest of the world. Being accepted comes from being happy with who you are, not from what you are. Then again, if people don't accept you, ask yourself whether or not it means anything to you that they don't. As long as they're not paying your way, they have no right to take you for anything less than that you are. If I were to sit down and hold my head in selfpity over the fact that I'm a Muslim and whatnot, I'll prolly never will stand up again. Only you can make the difference in your life. Other people might come and help you along, but in the end it's you who has to do it.

i dont think you suck really ... its just a case of ... what would they say ... fuck them ... and you ex husband was the faggot not to understand who you are ... and be proud please be proud of who and what you are ... this is the only thing you can do ... shame and emotions like that arent the answer acceptance of who we are truly inside is the key ... i will for myself never judge you ... its none of my buisness first and i think that people who judges ... are dicks... we have the right to judge ourselves but the only thing we really have to do is accept and love who we are ... truly yours luna public diary aka english case of french rambling translted ...

Be who you are and fuck the rest. At least people know where you stand. That is what my friends like about me. I dont take shit and i dont bullshit. What you see is what you get. Also by the way, i read your post about post secret. I am now addicted. Thanks, i went bought all 4 books. I read one of them straight through with no stopping.

You are not hurting anyone Durty. Fuck everyone else. Do what makes you feel good. There is nothing wrong with what you do in your private life. If someone does not like what you do then they are not worth having in your life. saying this, know that your friends will always be there for you. everyone has a fetish/kink/deviant behavior, nobody should be able to tell you that yours is wrong. mine is pantyhose, I dig chicks in pantyhose. I am not ashamed of it and I am not going to deny it. Keep doing what you do Durty. Batt out.

Sorry you're sad. Want a gift card?

You're BI!? Nothing wrong with that, don't let others get you down on that shit, it's not a biggie. I think you're just just beating yourself up over not having a job. You know, feeling like you're not doing your fair share. Just keep working hard and filling those apps. I think we've all done things that we regret, the hard part is taking those experiences, digesting them and applying them to the next problem in a different way, hopefully to change the outcome in a more positive light. Keep your chin up.