Ha

Durty

Shared on Mon, 03/31/2008 - 08:10

Chuck Norris is the shit...he is all that is awesome.  In fact, I think he has become the United States brand new god.  He also has a new Opinion Column...which is fucking awesome as well.  The latest opinon he has generated is entitled "Guns, God and Gays."  I didn't know so many things saddened Chuck Norris, it kind of makes me worry about the world when Chuck is sad...

 

 Some more fun Chuck Facts:

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Comments

BCKinetic's picture
Submitted by BCKinetic on Mon, 03/31/2008 - 16:18
Wow, article = fail. It is unfortunate that this country still harbors such narrow views of thought.
KingBayman's picture
Submitted by KingBayman on Mon, 03/31/2008 - 19:43
It's not narrow minded to follow your convictions. But it is spineless to accept certain views because society tells you to. You can abhor the act and still love the person.
Donk2o2p's picture
Submitted by Donk2o2p on Sat, 04/19/2008 - 22:06
LMAO @ Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. :lol:
twistedcaboose's picture
Submitted by twistedcaboose on Mon, 03/31/2008 - 09:38
Made me smile. Thanks.
Raiz3R's picture
Submitted by Raiz3R on Mon, 03/31/2008 - 09:45
I will never understand the whole Chuck Norris Phrases. Why him and not someone else.
JeepChick's picture
Submitted by JeepChick on Mon, 03/31/2008 - 10:07
Have you not seen Delta Force or Texas Ranger? He is a GOD among Men! LOL
Azuredreams's picture
Submitted by Azuredreams on Mon, 03/31/2008 - 11:55
I love the chuck norris facts. However, I really hope that Chuck did not actually write that short sighted article.
Durty's picture
Submitted by Durty on Mon, 03/31/2008 - 15:39
He did write it in fact. I don't agree with all of his views...but some of them I do. I just find it awesome to get into his mind, read his thoughts...but I'm nosy like that, lol.

Join our Universe

Connect with 2o2p